The Girl Who Lived?

Calm Down Already

"Draco! Will you calm down already? Nothing will happen to me, I promise." My patience was wearing thin. Why does everyone get so worried about me when I tell them my plan about working for Voldemort? I am only working for him so I can provide information for the Order of the Phoenix. My work will be of use to our cause!

Draco started pacing across the grass. It didn't take long for a path to be etched into the grass he walked on; the grass was flattened from the frequent movement over it. Arms flailing everywhere in dramatic movements, Draco expressed his feelings on my new found job. His voice cracked with emotion, "How can you do that to me? You're joining the very group that I am trying to leave to protect you! The Dark Lord would surely kill you if he were to learn of your plan..." At his realization he quickly turned towards me.

In elegant motions he pulled me up from the ground and into his arms. Our eyes bore into the other's and never broke contact. I could feel the despair he was emitting; how could I put him through this? I wiped each tear off his face with my thumb; how could I put him through this pain? "Draco, please do not do this to me. I beg of you to see why I must do this." It was my turn for tears to flow down my face. I hate seeing Draco in so much agony because of me.

Leaning his forehead against mine, he spoke softly, "I understand why but I will not allow you to put your life in danger like this. The Dark Lord is a brilliant man and will discover your lie. Do not join or I will never be able to forgive you." It seemed as Draco was calming down. There was no emotion on his face and he was not shaking from anger.

He was serious about not being able to forgive me though; he truly does not want me becoming a spy. The thing that he does not realize is that I have made up my mind and will not turn back now. Over the holiday break I will go to the Dark Lord with Snape and become one of them. I will bear the Dark Mark on my arm in a few weeks; I will be one of them. I cannot back down; I must do this to save the wizarding world.

Even though Draco does not agree with my choice it is something he will have to live with. No matter what he says, I will do this. If he does leave me for making this decision, it would just show that he cannot understand me and that we are not meant to be. It would be for the best maybe; Draco could possibly distract me from my own mission if we were to date. If Voldemort were to find out about me it would also put him in danger.

I made my decision and it was my final one. It was to keep Draco safe even if it meant hurting both of us. My face became serious and I kept my voice calm, free of emotion. "Draco I do not think we should be together from now on. It seems as if we are too different for this to work. Let's face it; you're a real Death Eater and I will only act like one. I do not love you anymore. Do not ever make any indication of our relationship or if you care about me." It was hard to stop myself from crying.

After I said what I had to say Draco burst out laughing. Looking at him I gave him a look as if he were crazy. Why would he be laughing at a time like this? "What the hell Draco!" My voice cracked while I yelled at him.

Tears were streaming down my eyes while I looked at Draco's laughing form. His chest heaved up and down with each quick intake of breath. Slowly, his laughing began to calm down and he was able to speak, "Rose, you do realize that you're a bloody horrible liar right? Not one second there did I believe you. You will have to have Snape help you through your insane plan." With a smile on his handsome face, he pulled me into his arms and would not let me go.

He did have a point though. If I can't even fool Draco with a lie, how will I be able to fool the darkest wizard of all time? I will surely get killed if I do not improve my acting skills quickly. I should probably even learn occlumency as well. There is hardly any time for me to become a master at the skills I will need to be successful. Good thing I have my friends to help me succeed. I just hope I do not fail miserably; maybe quickly to get it over with, no pain in that.

Giving Draco a simple nod, I agreed with him completely. "Do you know if Snape would be willing to teach me? I mean I am a Gryffindor after all, he hates me on principle." I was nervous and scared of what can and probably will happen. In potions it seemed as if Snape saw me like any other Gryffindor by taking points away at every possible moment and flunking me. Never have I seen that man smile and I'm sure he physically cannot.

With another laugh Draco looked at me with loving eyes. Carefully grabbing onto my face with both hands, he leaned his forehead against mine. "You are so adorable. Snape sees you as one of us but he can't let that on now can he? He knows of my mission of needing to win you over so he understands why the Dark Lord wants you so he knows how important you are. Do not worry about him my dear." Laughter filled his voice with each and every word.

What am I worrying about? Of course Snape would like me; after all we will be working together for the same cause. Only we will know what it is like to deceive Voldemort so we will be connected in a way that no one will understand us. I'm probably just worrying about nothing. It's not like Snape will try to kill me or something, right?