Binawi ko ang tingin at tumingala sa langit. Nagniningning ang mga bituin. I rested at his side against the car he's leaning against while he rested his elbows at the head of it and looked at the sky too.
"Bakit ito ang pinili mo?" I asked quietly.
Tahimik siyang tumingin sa langit. The last time we'd seen each other, I wished that he would find his own happiness. But is he... happy?
"Trison... this is wrong," mahinahon kong sabi, nananalangin na sana sa pagkakataong ito, makinig siya.
"Who said this is right?" may panunuya sa tinig niya ngunit hilaw ang lumandas na ngiti sa labi sa kabila ng pagiging seryoso niya.
"Then why are you still doing this?"
He glanced at me. I could feel our distance even when he was just inches away from me. Pakiramdam ko... para akong langit na nakadungaw sa pinakailalim na impyerno para lang makita siya. Ganoon ka layo ang agwat namin sa isa't isa na kahit gusto ko siyang maabot, parang imposible.
"I thought you didn't want to become your father?"
"I'm worse than him..." pag-amin niya.
Binasa niya ang labi at ibinalik ang tingin sa langit.
"Trison... tutulungan kita... k-kukumbinsihin ko si Arkaine na... tulungan ka. Maaaring bumaba ang sintensya mo, o may iba pang paraan para... para..."
Trison laughed. "I've been on the streets for years, Ferrarin. You talked like a police officer. Don't give me that bullshit."
It was frustrating that I knew what he meant but was still trying to find a way to make it easy for him.
"You know what deception is?"
Tumango ako. "To deceive someone..."
"Exactly. That's the main tactic of the police to get the criminal's trust. Kung pulis ako, at kriminal ka, kung sinabi ko ba sa'yong sumuko ka lang at ako ang bahala sa buhay mo, hindi ka makukulong, maniniwala ka ba sa akin?"
I nodded slowly.
"Then you're fucked. That's part of the tactics. And you think I would believe them if they told me they would help me out once I surrender? No."
"Pero paano kung..."
"My criminal record will put someone's position at a higher rank once they catch me by themselves. Of course they would do everything for that power."
"But what if... they're really willing to help you?! What if... you just needed to trust them?"
"Kung ginawa ko 'yan, matagal na sana akong nasa hukay ngayon. I'm a criminal. They won't treat you like a victim in spite of your reasons," he chuckled.
Bumuntonghininga ako. It felt surreal that I was so calm while being with the most hustling criminal existing now. Kahit anong gawin kong makaramdam ng takot sa kanya, na sana ay maisip kong masama nga siya, at malayong malayo na sa dating kilala ko, ngunit naroon pa rin ang kaonting pananalig sa akin na siya pa rin ang Trison na iyon.
Or maybe this is really what they called being blind. Iyong isinampal na sa'yo ang katotohanan, nagbubulagbulagan ka pa rin sa kasinungalingan.
Umalis din naman agad kami roon. Hindi na ako ganoong nahihilo lalo na't banayad nalang ang pagpapatakbo niya. He even had the guts to go to a fast food chain so we could order food.
"Kumakain ka ba nito? Hindi tayo makakapagrestaurant kaya huwag kang mag-inarte," he reminded after he gave the food to me.
Kumakalam ang sikmura ko. Kahit hindi naman kumakain sa fast food talaga lalo na't sanay ako sa luto ng chef, ngunit wala akong magagawa ngayon.
Chapter 30
Start from the beginning
