Chapter 11: Ravage

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We arrived the oak tree and there's nothing different. "What's the surprise?"

Beca smiled, "I'm not sure if you're going to like it, but I did it myself."

"Don't worry! I'll love it, since you prepared it." I winked.

"Close your eyes!" Beca chuckled.

We took a few steps when Beca asked me to open my eyes. We're just in the other side of the tree. Again, there's nothing in here. I looked at Beca, confused. "Look up." She said.

There's a really small tree house. I don't know if I'm going to fit in there. She looked at me smiling. I smiled back and pulled her.

It was harder for me to go up with my injured hand. Beca then pulled a tiny rope and a ladder went down. Thank god, this tree had a ladder now.

We went up and there I saw a bucket of beer, a pack of cigarettes and her laptop.

"I won't drink." I said.

"Doesn't matter. Drunk Beca can command you anyway." She smirked.

She handed me her headphones and asked me to listen to her newest demo.

As I was listening to it, I caught her staring at me and leaning forward. The space between us was getting smaller that I could feel her breath. She closed her eyes and so did I.

I could feel her heart beat.

"Hey, guys! Wait up! Stacie must be in the campus right now!" Snap! The moment was gone.

We looked at each other, surprised. "Uhm." Beca said.

She looked out the small window. "Guys who are courting Stacie again. They usually pass here."

Beca opened a bottle of beer then handed me a pack of cigarettes. She smirked, "I know you want it." I didn't. Maybe last time I did, but I don't really smoke. I shooked my head.

"Okay, then. Tomorrow I'll see that pack empty anyway."

I put my tongue out and she laughed. We were silent for a moment.

"Uhm, Chloe?" I looked at her.

"I have to tell you something." Beca said trying to avoid eye contact.

Is she going to confess? If she is, I know I'm going to reject her.

"I-I..." No one can stop Beca now.

"Look, I just." She started shaking. I know what this is already. I held her hand and she blushed.

Her hands are so cold. She's really nervous. She sighed, "Okay, you're perfect. Your eyes sparkle. Your smile can make someone's day. Your attitude is perfect. I can't hide anything anymore. Especially after the night you got drunk."

I felt myself shrug. She might love me back, but we can't be together. Jesse is there. Also, we're both girls. A lot of people would judge us.

"You know what you did that night. I told you already." She remembers?

"I know you made the stories up. I remember what happened, but I don't know why your hand's injured."

"Look, I-I" she then ran outside and climb down. She sat under the tree. I stayed inside the tree house.

I know what she wants to say. I've prepared for this. I know we can't be together. I know what I'll tell her.

My phone started vibrating in my pocket. Beca sent me a message.

I love you

I felt tears fall. Again, we can't be together, but I can't break her heart again. I climbed the ladder down carefully.

"Look, I know that you know I-." I started. She smiled. That smile. I can't break her heart. I can't tell her that our love is just forbidden.

"I lo-" I continued. Her smile, it's still there.

I couldn't help it anymore. I started crying. I looked down on the grass.

I felt Beca put her soft arms around me. "What's wrong?" No I can't stay in this hug. I pushed her away, and I saw her smile.

"We just can't be together." I finally said.

The smile on her face faded. "Why is that?"

"What would other people think? Huh? They'll judge us. I'm doing this for us, okay?" I said still crying.

"So what?!" Beca started shouting. God, now she's crying too.

"This is unfair, Chloe! I love you, and I know you love me too." She finally said it. Not through a text message anymore. She's not drunk. This time she'll remember everything. This time I'm sure she knows what she's saying.

"Look Beca! It just can't be! Okay?! Everyone will judge us!" I started shouting too.

"Chloe! If you have really delicious pizza, would you eat it?!" She's still shouting. I don't get it why does she have to ask that in a middle of a fight.

"What kind of question is that?!"

"Just answer it!"

"I would." I lower down my voice.

"See! You would. Now, this pizza is the best pizza in the world, but people tell you it's not and it's disgusting. You know what they're saying are not true, would you still eat it?" She lower down her voice too.

"What are yo-"

"God damn it, Chloe! Just answer the freaking question!" She started shouting again.

"I would." I said looking down again.

"You would! Then why do you care what people say if you know you're going to be happy with me?! You know it! You know that people's future judgement won't be true, but you still believe them!" She started. It made me silent for a moment. She's right. I can't compete with what she has to say anymore.

"What's the difference, Chloe?! It's just like the pizza! You chose to eat it even though they told you it's disgusting because you know it's not true! You know it's not disgusting! Now tell me, Chloe! Why don't you want to be with me because people think it's a bad idea?! You know it's not!" What can I do? What can I say? She's right, I do care too much about other's opinion. I already ruined her surprise, her heart, everything in her.

Then Jesse went into my mind. I know she can't leave Jesse all at once.

"Okay, you're right. What about Jesse?" I looked her in the eye and raised an eyebrow.

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