not actually there || dnf

chapter 12 ✰

george.

i've been in chicago visiting some old friends from high school for the past week, and i've had dream on my mind a lot.

he had been acting really weird before i left, and he was being very clingy and lovey which was sort of unusual. he was never like that. not unless something was up.

i never thought anything of it, i just took the extra love because i thought it was since i was leaving for the week.

"i love you," he had said. "i'm gonna miss you so much, but don't worry," he paused. "you won't have to worry about me." i had looked at him in my arms, and i smiled. i kissed his cheek and said nothing in return. i kind of wish i did.

i had stared at him for the longest time after that, wondering what he meant by i didn't have to worry about him. i always worry about him, because i care. why didn't i need to worry about him?

"hey, george," my friend stacey waved in front of my face. "are you even listening to us right now?"

i kind of jumped in shock, before realizing that i wasn't by myself. "um, sorry. no i wasn't listening. i was thinking about something i need to do when i get home."

"well don't right now, we're telling you the shit you've missed since moving to new york," my other friend josh says. he rolls his eyes and exchanges a look with stacey, nola, and shawn.

"i'm sorry. i know, i know. i'm sorry i haven't talked much to you guys. it's just been a lot lately," i said, feeling guilty for feeling like i shouldn't have came at all.

"it's fine dude, he's just bugging you," shawn says. . he had a smile on his face that could brighten anyone's day. he helped me through a lot of rough times throughout high school. "right?" he asks. he looks around at the group. the three of them nod with an apologetic expression.

"sorry," the three of them said quickly and almost in a mumble. i didn't say anything in return, but i knew that they were only kidding. nola looked especially apologetic. she always felt bad for everyone even if she didn't do anything.

"anyways," i said, trying to lighten the mood. i put a smile on my face to seek like i'd listen more intently. "tell me the rest of your story."

-

"3:36am flight to manhattan," i whisper out loud to myself. i'm walking through the busy airport of chicago, and i'm all alone. it's kind of hard to find my gate when there's so much going on. there's many people catching flights to different places at this time of night which amuses me.

i check my plane ticket over and over, making sure i have the right gate. over and over. i'm also wondering about dream. hopefully he's alright. he hasn't texted me since around wednesday. it's now saturday. but then again, i remind myself that sometimes when things are really bothering him, he pushes everyone away and ghosts everyone. i texted him a few times, but i never got a response back.

once i make it to my gate, i look around for an empty seat. when i do, i sit down next to a lady with two young children. her children are babbling in toddler about god knows what. they're so cute so it makes it funny. the mom on the other hand, looks exhausted. i smile at the little girl when she looks at me, and she grins with her big brown eyes and small teeth.

a man's voice comes on over the intercom, and it's hard to hear because of all the noise going on around me. he says, "gate 12, gate 12, your flight has been delayed to manhattan by 35 minutes. sorry for the inconvenience." i look down at my ticket, and of course, my gate is number 12. i sigh quietly and pull out my headphones. i play music to distract my mind.

once time passes, i finally stand up to move closer to my gate. my luggage dragging behind me, my eyes droopy. i line up behind the other people waiting to board the same plane, and surprisingly the line starts to get busy just as i move into it.