I close the door silently as I start walking towards the bridge about two minutes away from my house. It's cold and windy outside. Miserable weather to match my miserable mood.
The sky is a beautiful dark blue color that matches perfectly with the color of my father's eyes. I have my earphones in and I'm listening to "Kick Me" by Sleeping With Sirens. "Let's hang the jury, you sick judgmental fools. Bury me six feet deep. So tired of your rules. Fuck you and your opinion. How could you be so blind?"
After a few minutes of walking I get to the bridge. I'm gonna jump. Should I make a note? Doesn't matter. I grab my phone out of my pocket and check to see if I have any unread texts. Of course not. I wish Nial would paid attention to me lately. He's been to cought up in his boyfriends dick to be able to even notice me. I'm painfully noticed by my father and brother, Axle. Those abusive sons of a bitches. I can never get help when I actually need it. I sit on the edge of the bridge.
I turn on "Brother" by Falling In Reverse. I start fiddling with my long silky hair. "Why is it always stormy weather. And brother tell me if it all gets better. Why did you leave? Why did you die? You finally made your brother cry. I know you're watching over us tonight. I know you're watching over us tonight." It reminds me of my dead brother, Ike. I have two brothers, but the one that was fairly kind to me passed away. Axle has been beating me up ever since I was four. So for about twelve years. Its the same situation with my father. Ike died when I was five.
Nial is my only friend but he has been avoiding me. What did I do wrong?
I hear footsteps coming twords me and my muscles tense. I glance at the person coming twords me. It's a male. He has a tattoo on his neck that says "Have faith in yourself. You are beautiful" he also has a tattoo on his wrist of a black rose and each petal has a quote that I can't quite make out. He has black, short, flippy, silky looking hair. He has daring blue eyes.
"You gonna jump?" I can hear worry in his voice.
"I don't know." I make a brief pause.
"Why the hell do you care?" I say, the bitchy self I am.
It was a sneary remark but sadness still overwhelms me. I turn around and face him. He observes me. From my poking out ribcage to my pencil thin legs. That's how most people describe me but I don't believe them. Damn anorexia.
"I want to help you."
I'm surprised by this statement. I examine his face. Hurt filled mixed with hope. After a long moment of silence he sits down besides me. I look at him. His eyes and lips. I can sense peoples emotions just by looking at there lips and eyes. Doesn't matter who. Its a special talent. He's curious right now.
"Why. Why do you feel the need to destroy your life and demolish your life in a matter of seconds. Why?"
What the hell. Does he really think I'm going to vent out on somebody I literally met two minutes ago?
"Well, my dad and older brother have been beating me shitless since I was four, my best friend hasn't talked to me in weeks, my non-abusive brother died eleven years ago and I still can't get over it, the very little family I have encourages my suicide, I get beat nearly to death every fucking day after school-" I guess so.
He sees the pain in my eyes and puts a hand up as if to say 'It's ok, I understand'.
"And I can't go home. My dad will throw me across the room. Literally." I explain.
"Until you can get up onto your feet you can um...stay with me."
"Would your parents be ok with that?"
I'm contemplating my death right now. I can jump and just be a memory to the world or stay and go through more pain and heaps of depression. I'm plunging into sadness.
"They won't mind."
"Alright. Thank you..."
We walk to his house. It takes about five minutes. When we walk into his house I notice he must be a rich kid. His parents are most likely fairly wealthy. He observes me. He seems fascinated. His eyes widen when his eyes skim past my scared arms and brused neck, black eye, scratched eye and dried blood that once oozed down from my nose to my chin. His eyes widen.
"Did your dad do that to you? And your brother??!"
"I manufactured the scars myself. My family and kids from school made the bruises, blood and the scratch on my eye."
"Do you want something to eat? I can see your ribs."
"No thank you. I'm fine."
"Have you been eating?"
"Well, I ate about two weeks ago."
"How are you even alive?"
"I drink a lot of water."
"What's your name? Mine is Jinxx."
"My name is Ash as in Ashton."