Kissed By The Moon

CHAPTER 9: Truth Be Told

"Yeah," I shook my head, remembering everything, but stopping my memories before I got to the incident. "But, as you can imagine, being abducted, beaten and tortured can take a toll a young girl, and then being trained to be a killer, can have it's down side. I was frantic and paranoid. Despite the therapy, I couldn't shake the feeling that the threat was all around me. That there was no safe space. Afterall, pack members were discovered to be working with some of my captors, so I never really was at rest anywhere. 

"The problem started when my 'defence' became more offensive. Dr D reported a beyond necessary use of violence and force on my part. This was before I turned for the first time. I was nearly killing my assailants, in my human form. Granted I had abilities that made me more than human, but the viciousness was unwarranted. When I turned 18 and shifted for the first time, I discovered that whatever I was, and however I felt, my wolf was 10 times worse.

"I was afraid of her. She was too protective and very dangerous. I wasn't even being kidnapped anymore by the time I was 18. I guess I'd become too good for it. I mean it had been a while since anyone was actually able to take me, wolf or not, so I guess word got around that I was somewhat a menace. But having Eris made it worse. I was hardly ever in control, so I decided to suppress her." 

 I looked at Tim who opened his eyes in shock. Everyone knew the consequences of suppressing your wolf. There was no good ending to that. "As you can imagine, I was always on edge. Always at the brink of either killing myself or someone else. All my mental energy went into holding back my wolf, so none went into gaining any ounce of mental stability. I was spiralling, until I spiralled. I became almost rogue like. I'm lucky Charles found me in time and I was sedated or else who knows what could have happened?"

I know, and it did happen

I throw that thought away immediately and continue. "That's when the decision was made that I needed to leave the pack. That in order to be a better Alpha, I needed to get better help. So, I left. For a year, I was under watch and extreme therapy to help me regain my relationship with my wolf. Then I resumed training and got a law degree since my parents were afraid that bringing me back could tamper with my progress. 

"I did out of bounds pack duties like negotiating treaties, meeting with packs abroad and with the Royals, and I even handled territory issues with the other species. I helped my pack, but from outside, and I know for some that's not good enough, but I didn't abandon anything or anyone. I had to leave for the benefit of the pack, just like I had to return for the benefit of the pack, just like I have to find a mate, whether fated or forced, for the benefit of the pack. I'm a servant to this pack, willing and determined."

I conclude to a silent Tim, deep in thought. I look at Charles who looks like his mind is elsewhere. I don't blame him. He lived the story; he didn't need to hear it. I'm pulled out of my thoughts by a whimper. I look around to see where its coming from, maybe someone else was in the room, but to my surprise, I see no one. Charles draws my attention to Tim who was now crying in Charles' embrace. I'm gob smacked. There was no tragedy in anything I said, why is this grown man crying?

"You didn't deserve any of that," Tim says, finally, after calming down. I raise a brow in response.

"Any of the things that happened to you as a pup and any of the way I've treated you since you came back. I'm so sorry Amari. I'm sorry to you too Charles," Timothy says, looking ashamed of himself.

"It's okay, you do what you can with what you know," I respond, just relieved that I'm entering a new era with this man.

"And what Denzel did? How could he? If he knew, how could he?" Tim inquires.

"We grew up as siblings, I guess certain experiences are different for siblings," I reply.

"That's right, was he ever formally adopted?" Tim asks.

"No," Charles replied, "Rogues can't get formally adopted, even ones that were as young as he was when we... when Mari found him. She found him while fleeing from her assailants. She wasn't strong enough to fight but she was strong enough to escape. If she hadn't cried and begged us for his rescue, we would have likely handed him in to the orphanage. He would have still been well taken care of, but he wouldn't have had a home like the one he had with the Alpha and Luna. That's why the tension is so high. He felt abandoned, personally, not just on behalf of the pack."

Tim shook his head in understanding, before letting out a sigh and getting up. "Anyway, let's head out to training, I'll let Monroe know that today, you'll be training the new recruits alongside him." He clapped his hands, ready to head out, then I remembered.

"Oh yeah, that's right, Monroe and Brianna are mates. They aren't outside. You'll likely see them at the ball!" I say, smiling at my promotion!

"Wait, does that mean Monroe stays?" Tim lights up. I nod my head and he kisses Charles and hugs me, before clearing his through and composing himself. "That's great, what a good day today is!" I don't think I've ever seen this man this happy. He hums his way out of the room, leaving the door open for us to follow.

"We'll be right out!" Charles shouts with a smile on his face. He then looks at me worriedly. His eyes glaze over and I know he wants to mind link, I let him in.

Amari, you almost had Tim kill me? His voice sounds frantic in my head.

You know I was never gonna get him to actually do it right? I reassure, unsure of why this is even being questioned.

That's not my point child, how the hell did you get him to do that?

All Alphas can do that. It's what dad did to you. That's why you couldn't tell him! I say, reminding him, but also panicking a little.

I could tell him Amari, I just didn't because I'm a man of honour and I made an oath to my Alpha. But I COULD tell him. Alpha Nash can't compel me. No Alpha can do that. Not like that. Not in a way that circumvents free will the way you did. Amari, I've never seen that being done. How long have you known how to do it? He sounds concerned, and a little afraid.

Since I turned? I don't know, maybe I always could? I've never really done much of it. Why?

I don't know yet, but don't tell anyone until I know.

With that, he cuts off the mind link and leaves the room. I'm still reeling from what he's just said. Surely, he's mistaken. Every Alpha has the power to compel their pack members.

Eris?

This is only the beginning, but I won't spoil the fun.