Manoban's Reputation

Nueve (9)

RUBY JANE POV

It's been almost 3 weeks ago and I still tried to ask myself of what does 'you will always be part of my life' means?. And to think that there is always a lot of answers for that in which I can't completely understand to why it's always the hurtful one is the solution.

They said it can either mean, you'll be always be part of my life, whether it is in my past, present, or future. But with my case, given the instances and consequences when my mom already found out my relationship with Lisa does only mean that our future is zeroed.

Yes, I will always remember her in anyway no matter what happens or wherever she goes. But it will be only that and the continuation of the chapters that supposed to be her and me in the the story was stopped with a period. The story you can consider undone.

Does it hurt me? Yes so much and I lost everything, from the beautiful memories up until the happiest moments I have in my life.

Lisa is everything that she made me realized the real meaning of my life.

Anyway, the decision was made not even given a certain choices or solution for that. So yeah even it hurts and means I have to destroyed hers, I'll do it and to the reality that I don't want my father to meddle and let Lisa suffered more. I should be thankful that my mom was the one who found it out. So, I'm so sorry but I have to do this.

To: MyBananaEaterLover

-hey babe, can I see you now? I have something needs to tell you, and it is really important 😊 Love you 😘

It doesn't even takes 5 minutes and I got a reply from her.

From: MyBananaEaterLover
-okay babe, same place, you go first and I'll go after just making sure no one will see. I love you my everything and see you in like 5 minutes 💕

See? This person is something you don't want to lose but I am just wasting it all. 😔
— — —
LISA POV

When I love someone, I really did and that connection is too strong to even 5g can't beat it. I can feel it and things lately actually feels like sullen and sad.

I don't want to overthink that it might be because of my situation that made Ruby Jane changed. She might realize that I have nothing to offer with all the things she wants that includes financially, freedom and a certain name in public. You get what I mean? Because I'm so stressed to even think why did I allow myself to fall deeper and believe that there is a bright future waiting for the both of us.

Nothingness is she can have from me, well, let's say, not really nothing because I can still offer myself, but myself is clearly not measured as means of biggest ownership you can be proud of. My parents proved it enough and its just coming back to what it is.

My tears falls down, little by little. I'm deeply hurt but I have to look strong in front of her. Whatever it is God, just help me heal. You're the only one Who's always for me anyway.

When I checked that it is safe to go to the hideout place we always meet, I make sure that I look okay but deep inside I'm not.

Face? Check
Eyes? Check
Voice? Check, perfect like there's no remnants to what I feel just minutes ago.

Not far, I can see her sad side profile. The girl that I love is far to her jolly ones. Maybe I was the one who's wrong here, the moment I got her in my life is the moment she lost her real half life.

Approaching her is so heavy but I make sure that I can keep the emotion deep inside me. I don't want her to struggle more and I love her enough to even pay it with my own happiness.