"Drew." I said, turning back to face him.
Should I stay with Drew? Should I go to Austin? I didn't expect this to happen. My heart's saying go to Austin. My gut's saying stay with Drew. I've learned not to follow my heart sometimes. And other times, that gut feeling can be wrong. I saw Austin walking away. I mentally slapped myself. But then again, I didn't run after him. My head told me not to but my heart told me to. I was suffering here. My new boyfriend was looking at me, his eyes glazed over.
I sat down on the towel, putting my head in my hands. And for the first time in my life, I just let the tears come out. No hiding it, no denying it. Drew put his head on my shoulder. I feel like Lewis and Clark on the Expedition across the Louisiana Territory. Meaning, I was lost like nobody's buisness. My heart ached along with my head and my stomach. It's like someone took a needle and knit my stomach together. My stomach was in knots and my head was a top, spinning on the floor.
He got up, sticking out his hand. I just looked at it. Should I accept it?
I took his hand, and he did the nicest thing he could at the time. He was there for me. He wrapped me in his warm embrace and he offered me his shoulder to cry on. He was a true friend. No doubt that Drew wowuld never leave me,
Walking back to the house was terror. My mind was racing a mile a minute.
The questions included; Who sould I choose? Why is Drew so hot? Why are his muscles so big? Why do I have to love Austin? When should I get a cat? I mean they're really cute, can't I get one? Look at Drew flex, how much does he lift? Would Drew get me a cat? Why is he so adorable?
We made it back home, I was exhausted. Drew collapsed on the couch, pulling me down with him. I giggle and became very drowzy wtihin minutes. The background noise faded around me as I dove deeper into sleep.
There was less than a day until I left to go to England. Four hours left. I would be there for a week then in Germany. After Germany, I would return for a day then go to be on my tour with Taylor Swift, opening up for her.
Say Somethin was released today. My single got 60,000 purchases in 6 hours online. I guess that's good. For just starting out, they told me it was good I guess. I was currently working on the video with my manager. Dave was sitting in the other room, playing Xbox. We were going to search for an apartment later. My mom wanted her own place so that she can move out and Brooke can live with Emily, the twins, and Matt.
I smiled as I watched my single rise the charts. Packing had gone great today and I couldn't wait for England. It would be really cool to travel to a new country.
The only part I was missing, was Emily. But right now, I was almost as happy.
She's happy with Drew and I'm happy with the way my career is starting up. I'll be gone soon and she can have Drew. Who knows.... maybe I'll find some English girl or a German girl. Who knows. There's always a possibility of that happening. I mean, I am single now.
I walked out the door and went to play video games with Dave. I would leave soon to go to the airport, but for now, I'll enjoy some Destroy All Humans on PS2.An old game, but a classic that I love.
*Three hours later*
I'm sitting in the airport. Emily's sitting with Drew probably.
This is short notice. But I'm leaving now to go to England. I will be there for a while and then in Germany. I'm sorry to have to say goodbye like this. I can't bring myself to say goodbye when you're happy with Drew. I just bring you down anyway. This will be easier on you and me. Don't worry about me. Just have fun with Drew and enjoy being his girlfriend. I'll be back soon but not too soon. Take care of the twins and tell Brooke I said hi. Also, we got an apartment today. So we'll be moving out when I get back. Brooke knows this. My mom called her. I wish you the best of luck in life ahead of you. I hope you make the right descisions and will be happy with whatever ones you make. I know you will be a great, sucessful, woman. We will meet again. This is only goodbye for a while. Don't change too much while I'm gone.
~Austin Carter Mahone
The thing was..
this goodbye wasn't just for a while.
It was for atleast a year.