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Finan walked up to Sihtric and Osferth, the Dane had fixed up a tourniquet for the monk in their free time. Finan was filled with too many emotions at the moment. Worry for Uhtred, grief for Beocca, and excitement from the brief kiss that Nilsa had given him.
"Bless you, Sihtric." Osferth spoke quietly as Sihtric smiled and helped slip the cloth over his head.
"Blessings," Sihtric turns when he notices Finan. "Where is Uhtred and Lady Nilsa?" Finan arched an eyebrow with the Dane speaking the woman's name carefully.
"He walks alone, his only comfort being his wife." Sihtric and Osferth flinched at the realization that they loved their friend's wife. Osferth had prayed many times for his sin and yet, he didn't regret falling for her. She was exquisite and she had a delicate heart that he wanted to protect at all costs.
"I fear his spirit is broken." Osferth mumbled in concern.
"The day Uhtred is broken is the day you grow hair down there, Osferth. It'll never come," Sihtric smirks at the joke. "Now, he lost a friend and grieves him...as we all do. He told me we must return south. Well, come on. We'll need horses and provisions for the journey." Finan and the men begin to take off valuables. Sihtric hesitated on his fingers briefly before Finan took off his armbands.
"But what you can. There's a village behind the ridge. Try not to spend it all on women." Finan spoke with narrowed eyes. Sihtric scoffed and jerked his hand away as left.
"No one compares to the woman I love!" Sihtric shouted back as Finan smiled smugly, if only they knew what he does.
"Sihtric!" Finan shouts as he motions for him to come back. The Dane walks back to him with an annoyed look and it only increases when he notices Finan's unusually luminous eyes. "Uhtred gave his blessing." Sihtric and Osferth communicated a perplexed look. Finan rolled his eyes and slapped them both. "Uhtred told me personally that he would permit us to pursue Nilsa, but only with what she was comfortable with. Sihtric, Osferth, she kissed me! She kissed me." He whispered in excitement and the other two men brightened at the claim.
"Really? You truly mean that?" Osferth spoke as Finan nodded.
"Yes, he is allowing us to be with her. She kissed me, and though it was just a peck, it was extraordinary. The best kiss I have ever experienced. It was so sweet and electrifying, like a not quite ripe apple that is both sweet and sour in the best way." Sihtric patted the Irishman on the back with a grin.
"If she allows me, I will kiss her wherever she pleases. I will give her all the pleasure she wants and I will not need anything in return. I bet she looks like a goddess when she falls apart on Uhtred's tongue." Sihtric said with a shiver as he imagined it, he would never expect anything in return. She would never have to see or touch his cock for all he cared, just as long as he could give her some sort of bliss.
Meanwhile, Uhtred and Nilsa stood by the river as she leaned against the nearest tree to give him a moment. Uhtred turned to her with an exhausted smile and moved to rest his forehead on her shoulder, she raked her fingers through his unkempt hair.
"Thank you, Nilsa." She frowned at that and guided his face up to analyze his face.
"Should I not be the one to thank you?" He offered her a small smile as he nudged her nose with his, she hummed softly at the cute stunt.
"No, you should not. I want...I want to thank you for saving my son. You and Beocca did not waver in that. Your first instinct was to find him, so, thank you." He raised his hand to rest on her stomach as he caressed it lightly. "I hope to be half the father that you are as a mother. You are impossibly honorable and forgiving," She watched with tenderness as he paused to stare at her stomach. "I am sorry, I hate that my guilt led to you believing I did not want you. I feared losing you and despised myself for not protecting you. That is why I refused to glance your way, for that, I am truly sorry. I am no longer the man you married. I am nobody, nothing at all."
Nilsa placed both of her hands on his face as she guided Uhtred's head up, she looked at him with such love that he nearly crumpled. She gazed at his face for a moment before kissing him with her whole being, she hoped it spoke for her, to say what she couldn't find the words for. Uhtred moved his free hand to her neck as he kissed her, the darkness that clouded his mind and heart was banished with one simple kiss. He hoped his captivating light would never leave him, he loved her too much.
"Come on, let us go to camp." She says gently once they pull away, she holds his arm against her chest as she holds his hand. Uhtred kissed her temple as they walked and he thanked whatever god or gods that sent her his way.
She felt Finan's eyes on her from where he sat sharpening his sword, she nearly laughed at Sihtric and Osferth's poor attempt at starting a fire. She hears Young Uhtred pray as they walk past and dreads Uhtred's actions when he gently moves her hand off his arm.
"Lord, forgive my sins for they are all very grave. Whoever fears you, lord God knows that is your will and you'll show that man just..."
"Stop this nonsense." Uhtred barked in order.
"I pray for Father Beocca." She drops her head as she sighs, Uhtred froze before walking to his son in bitterness. "Please allow the soul of Father Beocca to rise to heaven—" He was cut off by Uhtred jerking him up roughly.
"Get up! You think he needs your words, hm? Do you think I need them?" Nilsa watched in silence as Uhtred spoke, she nervously fisted her dress as she watched the events unfold, she knew it needed to be said but she worried it would damage the father and son's already fragile bond.
"I know you blame me for his death." She recoiled as her words from earlier haunted her, it would seem she was not the only one who dreaded having Uhtred's hatred.
"I am told your God gives mercy, where is he? Where is he? I've never seen him." Uhtred screamed in distress and sorrow.
"It is not my God that you hate...but the fact that I am not you." Uhtred placed his hand on Young Uhtred's jaw before glancing away and letting go. She watched in anguish as Uhtred walked away, Finan approached them and briefly skimmed his fingers against her lower back.
