Dating Days and Campfires

Almost There.

CAUSE BABY NOW WE GOT ____ ____

IM SO SORRY I ACTUALLY SUCK AT WATTPAD NOW WTF IM SO SORRY 

recap: Taylor rejects Cass' kiss and tells her that she needs to stop and pick. Alex just finds out about this during flag football for The Fire.

__________________________

"The fuck you mean, pick?" Alex angrily spits, hot on my heels.

"You know what shes talking about, Alex, theres no need to play dumb," Taylor follows, rolling his eyes.

"You're actually considering being with this prick?"

"I'm sorry, Alex, but remind me who she dumped?"

"I swear to god-"

"SHUT UP. Both of you!" I exclaim. "I-It wasn't supposed to be like this," I shake my head, turning to Taylor. "I-I can't do this. I can't pick."

Taylor opens his mouth to say something, but is interrupted by Alex.

"Let me make this 'decision' easier for you, Cass," Alex huffs, eyebrows furrowed and jaw clenched. With one final glare at both of us, he storms away.

Fuck.

Taylor blinks, stunned. "Uh," he dumbly says.

"I'm just gonna... Alex, I-Okay, bye," I stutter and then awkwardly run away in search of Alex.

It wasn't supposed to be like this.

********************************************************************************************

Heart thumping and palms sweaty, I finally find Alex at the quiet and empty beach. He was sitting on the sand, just staring ahead.

I warily take a seat next to him, heads folded in my lap.

"Alex-"

"I have never lost a single thing in my life."

"What?" I scrunch up my nose, confused.

"I've always won everything. Never been a runner up. Competitions, races, games, you name it, I've won it."

Alex still faces forward and a part of me is glad because those eyes will wrap me up and the other part is sad because he won't even look at me.

"Okay..." I say.

"I can't be a runner up in your life. Especially to Taylor, of all people," He finally turns to me, those blue eyes piercing into me. I gulp, a lump in my throat forming.

"You're not runner up, Alex. It's just that, with you, there's always uncertainty. Taylor is like a warm hug, you're like driving a fast car," I try to explain.

"What do you like better?"

"Both!" I exclaim for what seemed like the millionth time.

Alex rubs his forehead, looking down. "Fuck, Cass, if you're gonna live your life always choosing the safe path, then I don't know what to tell you. You gotta take chances, live a little."

"But I don't wanna get hurt."

Alex's head snaps up. "Everyone is getting hurt, right now, Cass, can't you see that? I'm not telling you this to be rude or an ass, I'm telling you this... as a friend," Alex decides upon, the word holding such a deeper meaning. "You gotta pick. For everyone."

I squint my eyes. Wasn't he upset that I had to make a decision in the first place?

Alex seems to understand my look as he explains. "I'm not happy that you have feelings for Taylor, but I mean, I get it. We're always a little shaky, but who isn't. What's important is that I love you, Cass. And you love me," Alex gives me a little smile. "I've never been a runner up in my life, Cassandra Williams, but I would gladly be one if you were the judge."

He leans over and places a gentle kiss on my forehead before getting up and walking away, the gentle waves lapping up on the sand.

*****************************************************************************************************

I spend some time alone, my mind whirring, before heading to lunch.

No matter what I did, I was gonna fuck things up. That's just what I did. I had a good thing going with Alex, screwed it up. Friends with Taylor? Nah, I'll just mess that up. It was my curse to just always make mistakes. 

And now I had to fix them. 

If being with Taylor meant Alex out of my life and vice versa, I couldn't pick. But I knew, in my heart, what I had to do. 

I enter the mess hall, take a deep breath and scan the room. I saw Alex standing off to the side, but Taylor was no where to be seen. I said a quick prayer to any higher power listening and grabbed Alex's arm, pulling him out of the lunch room. 

"Listen," I start. You have to put an end to this, Cass. Once and for all. "I love you." 

Alex's blue eyes widen and he steps closer, but I shake my head, putting my hand on his shoulder. "I love you, and that's why I have to let you go." 

No matter how much those words hurt to say, it hurt more to see Alex's face crumble. I wanted to take the words back, tell him I loved him so fucking much and just hug him, but I couldn't. 

I made my bed and now its time to sleep in it. 

"CC, I don't-" 

"Cass?" 

We turned to see Taylor barging through the back of the mess hall, eyes wide and teary, hair disheleved. Something was wrong. 

"Taylor, whats going on?" I ask, crossing my arms. Taylor's eyes flicker between Alex and I and he understands whats happening before his eyes harden. 

"My dad... he wants to meet me tonight. But you guys finish your conversation," he marches off into the woods and I groan, looking between Alex and him. 

Go to Taylor, stay with Alex? 

Go to Taylor, stay with Alex?

Go to-

"Go." 

I blink at Alex, who's jaw was clenched and lip set in a straight line. "He needs you." 

"Alex, I-" 

"Go." 

My breath catches as I stare into those blue eyes for a second before turning and running in search of Taylor. 

After a few minutes of panicked searching, I find Taylor sitting on an abandoned bench, head in his hands. 

He doesn't look up as I approach and sit down next to him. 

"So," I begin, awkwardly placing my hand on Taylor's shoulder. 

"My dad wants to see me tonight. I don't know if I'm ready or not," Taylor sighs, sitting up and looking at me. 

"Just... take your time. If you're not ready, tell him and he should understand. Only meet him if you know you'll be able to get through it," I try, rubbing his shoulder. 

"I-I know. Its gonna hard whether I do it now or in 10 years. Its just gonna be... weird. I wanna scream at him, but I also wanna hug him, you know?" 

I nod, understanding him a little. "Its natural, he's your dad. You're always gonna love him." 

"I just wish someone could tell me what to do," he dryly laughs, shaking his head and looking down. "Cass, you always know what to do. So, tell me." 

"He's your dad, Taylor. I can't pick for you," I shrug. "Its all up to you." 

In that moment, it dawned on me that Taylor Herrings was the strongest person I knew. And if he was dealing with shit like this, I could end this... thing. 

I leaned over, embracing Taylor in a hug, enveloped by comfort. 

And then, like the bus and Regina George, it hit me.