Royal With Benefits

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DISCLAIMER: This really does piss me off to say, but I don't own Pippa Middleton, Kate Middleton, Prince William or ( this is so sad) Prince Harry ( and his fine ass.)



" Sexual tension? What sexual tension?" Pippa laughed nervously looking at her friend.

" Honey the whole wide world and their great Aunt May noticed the sexual tension between you and Harry, Hell, I'd not be surpised if even Kate and William noticed," Mel, Pippa's closest friend said, grinning and skipping out of the way from Pippa's clutch which swung dangerously close to her waist.

She stopped short in the middle of the quiet sidewalk. Her mouth dropped open at least three inches and she turned dramatically to look at Pippa. " You slept with him didn't you?" Pippa shook her head quickly as Mel walked towards her with murder in her eyes. Just when Pippa felt as if there would be a knifing in an alleyway near Buckingham Palace with her as the victim, Mel stepped back and faced down towards the sidewalk.

" But you want to," she put her finger to her cheek,"and so does he," she pushed her cheek bone looking out at the side walk in front of her, her eyes glazed.

" Absolutely not, he's a ginger!" Pippa retorted straightening her dress awkwardly.


" She..." she whispered between kisses, " She- she knows," He sat up and Pippa looked at him like a deer in headlights.

" Kate?" he said in a voice that sounded far too much like his father's.

" No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, eww by the way, no, no," Pippa grimaced," Eugh, God no, I'm talking about my friend Melanie," Harry's body relaxed a bit underneath her.

" Oh," Then, fear flashed back into his eyes, " She wont talk will she?" Pippa leaned forward, her back arching slightly more, she kissed up his bare chest. " She doesn't know know, she suspects something, as apparently 2 billion other people do, but I'm telling her she's wrong," Harry relaxed a little bit and Pippa bit his lower lip gently. He groaned and then the door handle flung down releasing the door jam. Pippa flew out of the bed into the closet, ducking under a tuxedo of Harry's. Harry yelled out, " One second, I'm changing," He ran into the closet, and pulled underwear and jeans back on.

" Do you honestly think I give a damn? I saw you naked and bloody, and screaming like a little devil," William walked into the room looking out the bay window giving his brother time to adjust his pants and grab a shirt. Without Harry noticing, Will picked up a golden chain that was on the bedside table and examined it, popping open the locket on the end of it. He looked at the picture, then looked over at it his brother who was having trouble pulling a shirt on, grinning he said," Kate wants to talk to you about something," Harry turned around, finally having fit the shirt over his head and asked, "Me? Why me?" Still looking at the gold chain, Will said absent-mindedly, while still attempting to hide his grin from Harry, " Not you, Pippa,", Harry nodded and turned back into the closet before turning back almost immediately, his face flushing bright red, as Will pushed himself up to sit on the edge of the dresser. He leaned down looking into the closet, and said, " Hello Pippa," there was a bit of commotion and Pippa yelled out, " Dammit Harry why would you keep hangars on your floor. " Harry leaned in and grabbed the hangar off the ground. " No offense William, but I'm not coming out,".

" You're damn lucky you're my brother," Will said to Harry who was looking at his feet, " otherwise, you realize I'd be telling Kate, right?" Harry hung his head lower, which looked as if it weren't possible, while Pippa yelled out from the closet, " Oh Will thank you soo, soo, soo much!" Harry's face was still and brilliant red when Pippa yelled, " You idiot he's not telling Kate,", Harry looked at his brother both thankfully and like a little kid who had just been caught shoving coins in his mouth. " But honestly, a heads-up, I'd take the necklaces with you, Pippa," he said tossing the locket to Harry, who opened it and looked at it, a cheeky smile coming to his face, " You both were quite chubby weren't you?" he said into the closet where Pippa scoffed and said, " You're one to talk, Harry,". Will pushed himself off the dresser and said," Well, Kate actually does want to see you Pippa, but Harry you might as well come, too," Harry muttered something along the lines of ' I would have with two more minutes', but it was too quiet for anyone to make out.


" Piiiiiiiiipppppaaaa please," Kate groaned while Will chuckled and Harry shifted awkwardly in a chair across the room from Pippa. 

" Oh Kate hush you know it was funny, but, no offense you lot, I'm bored and would much rather like to go to Harrod's and get a cupcake.  

" You Pippa, are a bitch, how can you eat nothing but sugar and not gain a pound?" Pippa shrugged and stood up. 

" Now I'm not going to whine and throw a hissy fit until you come, but you should know there is a bomb tied to your ear and the only way to diffuse it is to come with me and get a godforsaken cupcake," Shrugging tiredly, Kate shot an apologetic look at William who winked and Pippa rolled her eyes.  

" Alright Mr. and Mrs. Sickeningly in Love, say your goodbyes, I'll have her back by next week," and with that Pippa pulled on her sisters forearm dragging her out of the beautiful red drawing room.

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