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I woke up to see my mom with a needle in her arm.

I got up and raced to her. " Mom!. Why'd you do this! " I said to her as I untied the belt and took the needle out.

She was as high as a kit.

She sat there looking at the ceiling.

I pulled her into the recliner chair and let her sit there until it wore off.

I waited for kade to wake up and then we left the motel. I didn't want him seeing mom like that.

We walked to the park and I got him something to eat.

We played for hours. Finally we went back home and I saw my mom leaving for work.

" If you don't find a job in 3 weeks I'm kicking you out " She said looking at me

" Yes ma'am " I said walking into the motel .

I guess tomorrow I will go job searching.

I fixed some mac n cheese for super and we watched TV in the bed.

Kade finally fell asleep as I heard a knock on the door.

" What? " I asked the guy that my mom was talking too

" Is your momma home? " he asked as he pushed the door open. I could smell the alcohol that escaped his breath.

" No, now leave " I said

He pushed the door open and entered my home.

" I'm going to call the cops " I said looking at him

" I'm shivering in my fucking pants! " he said laughing

He sat on the bed and I looked at him.

I picked up the phone and he snatched it from me and hit me in my face with it my nose immediately started bleeding.

I ran to the restroom and sat on the toilet as I washed my face off in the bath tub.

I opened the door and he entered with me and locked it behind him.

" What are you doing?!. " I asked looking at him

" If your mother doesn't pay me, you'll be seeing more of me " he said as he pulled out his gun.

" Please don't do this " I said crying

" Shut up, you wouldn't want to wake Kade " he said as he pulled down my sleeping shorts and held the gun to my head.

" Don't struggle. Don't make this worse! " he said unzipping his pants and entering me.

I yelped out as he had his way with me.

He finished and unzipped his pants and walked out.

I cleaned myself up and cried every minute while doing so.

I walked out and he was walking out also.

I didn't sleep last night. I was too disgusted with myself.

I cut my wrist on both sides and wrapped them up in a towel.

My mom entered the motel,

" Mom, your guy friend came by " I said looking at her

She ignored me

" He raped me! " I said looking at her as tears ran down my cheeks.

She ignored me and walked into the restroom.

" Did you hear me, I said he raped me! " I said banging on the door.

She ignored me and I got my clothes on and left.

I needed air. I needed time alone.

It has only been a month since I lost my virginity now I'm getting raped.

I can't take this .

I started job hunting and I applied at places I knew needed help.

I could clean really well, so I applied at a hotel and then a restaurant.

I walked back home and saw that kade was up.

My mom was high again and I bought Kade a sausage biscuit home.

We rode his bicycle outside and I watched TV.

I couldn't even look at myself in the mirror.

I was to disgusted with myself.

I sat around the motel looking for anything to keep my mind off of last night.

My mom doesn't even care. She doesn't care about me.

Night time struck and my mom laid down in the bed with kade between us.

She kissed Kade goodnight and then rolled over. .

There was a knock on the door.
" Brenda open up " Her guy friend said

" No mom please don't! " I said as tears began falling.

" Shut up! " she said slapping me .

I held my face and laid down.

She opened the door and the guy walked in.

" Stupid bitch!. Have you been running from me?! " he asked punching her

" No baby, I love you. I've just been busy " she said getting down on her knees.

I heard his zipper become undone and he began moaning.

" I don't want you! " he said as he laid down in the bed behind me.

I squeezed my eyes closed tightly.

I saw my mom as she laid down and faced the wall.

I reached for her and she moved her body.

I started crying as he entered me.

Once again he raped me.

And what did my mom do ?. Ignored me

That broke my heart into a million pieces.

He finished and got up and left.

I didn't sleep that night either.

Morning came and my mother didn't say anything.

I left the house with Kade as I went on my job searches

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