Chapter 16: Realization
"What are you doing here?" I couldn't help the venom that dripped off my words. From the flinch that Remy gave, I knew he heard the coldness in my words.
"You what? Wanted to come see for yourself what I looked like?"
"No-it's just I..." his voice trailed off.
"I'm surprised you haven't started rubbing in how much of a handicap I am."
"Don't but Brooklyn me! What the hell are you doing here in the first place? You've been completely ignoring me and now you decide to talk to me?!"
A familiar wetness began to gather underneath my eyes. It wasn't long until I felt wet hot tears dripping down the sides of my face. It just wasn't fair. Who was he to think I would suddenly accept him after how he had ignored me?
Attempting to hide my tears, I bowed my head, creating a makeshift curtain with my hair. From behind my hair, I let out a soft whisper full of hate and sadness. "To think that the only way to get you to come talk to me, would be for me to be on the verge of death."
Daring a glance up from my hideout, I locked gazes with Remy. "You don't know how miserable I feel."
"Brooklyn-Rooky. I'm sorry, ok? Please forgive me."
I shot him a glare, my eyes flashing. I swear I was seeing red. I have no idea why I was this mad. It was as if all the anger I felt towards the surgery and Cy-Cy and Shawn's dad came flooding back. I couldn't calm myself down.
"Sorry isn't going to cut it this time. Just get the hell out of my room."
As I said this, Remy's posture perked up and he stared right back at me. Folding his arms across his chest, he stood stubbornly in front of my bed.
"I'm not leaving Brook, and you sure as hell can't make me."
"Shutup Brooklyn and let me talk!" That was the second time that Remy had ever raised his voice at me. At this point, I couldn't care less.
"Look Brooklyn, I know I was a real jerk. I don't know why I treated you like that-well maybe I do, but that's beside the point. What I did was wrong. I should have never treated you that way. You don't deserve it. I was a horrible person and a horrible friend. So, I'm going to tell you one more time." He paused to take a deep breath. "From the depths of my heart, I am sorry. I promise it will never happen again. Please, please, please forgive me?"
I stared down at his forlorn face. He looked absolutely torn and I knew that he meant what he was saying. Even though all of this was true, I couldn't contain the word that slipped from my mouth.
Remy's face dropped slightly and his mouth formed a tight straight line. "What do you mean by no?"
"I mean no. Want me to spell it out for you? N-O. Not happening. Ever. I don't forgive you."
He ran a finger through his golden hair in obvious frustration. "Why?"
Taking in a deep breath and letting it out, I whispered, "Because I hate you."
His blue eyes widened in shock just as I placed a hand to my mouth. Did I really...?
"You don't mean it Rooky," his voice was strained and I could clearly hear the pain hidden in his words.
"Oh I mean it all right." No, no, no! What was I saying? I don't hate him. But the more I agreed to it, the more I believed it was true.
He narrowed his eyes at me, but I could easily make out the twinge of sadness hidden within his eyes. "If you really mean it, say it one more time and say it properly."
"Remy Fox, I-I hate you." I couldn't stop myself. "I hate you more than I hate hell."
"I see. So that's how it is."
I saw his shoulders slightly tremble as he turned around. What had I done? Why did I just tell my best friend in the world that I hated him?
"Rem-" Before I could finish, my head began to throb and all I saw was a huge blur. A strong dizziness overtook me as I felt myself slump backwards into my pillow and into unconsciousness.
'I hate you'. The words echoed through my ears. My body was still trying to digest the words that she had just spoken. She hated me. Brooklyn Banks hated me.
I felt the life within my body slowly begin to drain as I turned away. With every step I took towards the door, my feet grew heavier and heavier, as if begging me to stay.
But I couldn't. I'd made her miserable and she had told me she hated me. Brooklyn Banks had broken my heart. She had pulled it out and torn it into two as if it was merely a flimsy piece of paper. The one girl I had loved, hated me.
As my hands reached the cold brass doorknob, my breath caught and I froze.
I loved her.
I loved Brooklyn and there wasn't anything I could do to stop it.
Then, what am I doing? Where am I going? Why was I leaving her? This may be the only girl I may ever love in my life, and I was ditching her over a few words?
Removing my hand from the doorknob, I turned back towards her bed. Slowly, I silently made my way towards her. When I reached her bed, my eyes softened. She was asleep.
Leaning down, I angled my lips across from hers. I knew I was taking advantage of her, but I couldn't help myself. She was just too beautiful. My lips were mere centimeters away from hers, when I froze. As I stood there with my head suspended in the air, my heart fell.
She wasn't breathing.
Pulling my head back, I placed a hand to her heart, checking for a pulse. There was nothing.
Suddenly doused in worry, I shook her lightly. "Brooklyn?"
My shakes began to grow more frantic when she didn't respond. I felt the tears beginning to form in my eyes. I couldn't lose her now.
Turning away from her body, I ran out of the room, searching for a doctor.