afflicted

26: 2 months before...

War was a leach, clasping onto her chosen family, sucking out its' life force. They had become shells of what they once were. Halls once filled with boisterous laughter and love were now paced in unending anxiety and despair.

It had come from nowhere. They hadn't been prepared for it. Not in the slightest. Once they'd defeated Hybern they became too comfortable, too hopeful. Callie stared up at the ceiling of the room she shared with her mate, not knowing if he would even show up to sleep, and knowing if he did, he'd only allow himself a few hours.

It felt hopeless. In the first days after Maeve's beginning invasion, they'd been unphased, certain in their own abilities, but as war raged on and she got closer and closer to the Night Court, morale was slipping through their fingers like water.

Azriel, Rhysand, and Cassian bore the brunt of the weight for them all, attempting to shield their mates from as much harm and distress as possible. Eventually, it became hard for them to even pretend when they'd come home. Amren seemed indifferent, as though she'd expected this all along, and had never envisioned the peace they'd found lasting. Mor fussed over Rhysand to distribute the responsibilities, work, and emotional burden.

To be quite honest, Callie felt... doomed? She could feel it like a twisting knife in her gut, carving her up from the inside. Something bad was coming, and she knew they wouldn't be ready for it. It felt like watching a tsunami form. You could watch the wave grow, and could even try to run if you wanted, but ultimately all you were doing is biding time until you're swept up into the current.

She guessed it was around three in the morning when their bedroom door creaked open and Azriel stumbled through, trying his best to be quiet, but carrying his exhaustion like a ton of bricks on his shoulders. Callie sat up in bed, watching him silently. Once he noticed she was awake, he swore under his breath.

"I'm sorry, baby, I didn't mean to wake you," he grumbled. Usually, his sleepy voice was Callie's favorite, but not when it meant he was having such a hard time.

"C'mere," she said, holding her arms open for him. He looked close to tears as he kicked off his shoes and crawled into bed and into her arms still fully clothed. "Tell me about it. Let me help lessen the weight on your chest."

He wrapped his arms around her, burying his face in her neck and breathing in a way that let Callie know he was trying not to cry. Tears welled in her own eyes as she saw the difference in Azriel now versus when they'd met. He was weighed down by so much now. He had dark circles under his eyes and never really gave her that goofy gin she loved. Not because of her or anything she did, but he just didn't have the energy anymore.

"Please let me get you out," he whispered into her hair. "Please, Callie."

She pulled back, cupping his face in her hands as she furrowed her brows at him.

"Baby, what?" She asked him.

"Please let me take you somewhere safe and let me keep you out of this," he said, and she could see the tears forming, which only made her want to cry more than she already did.

"I'm not leaving you," she argued.

"Baby, please," he sobbed. "I am actually begging you right now. Please don't make me lose you. I can't fucking lose you, Callie. I can't." Tears flowed freely down his cheeks now and the ache in his voice made her want to disappear. She never wanted him to feel this pain. But she wouldn't leave him here, either.

"You're not going to," she reassured him. "I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere."

It felt like he was shattering beneath her touch. She'd never seen him like this, never seen him so hurt. It killed her that she couldn't soothe the pain in his chest. There was no comforting him because there were no answers.

"We won't win this war," he conceded. "Her armies multiply every day, and our forces are still exhausted and scattered from Hybern's armies. If we're lucky, the other Courts will stall her and I'd estimate we have about two months left before the Night Court is nothing. I can't have you here when that happens." Callie used her thumbs to wipe his tears as she searched for the right words.

"What does Rhys say?" Callie asked.

"He knows I'm right but won't listen," he sniffed. "I don't know how else to tell him that this isn't a rose-colored world where goodness prevails, and the monsters will never prosper. Maeve feeds off power from other creatures, absorbing it for her own use. She implants demons into fae bodies to create a dedicated army who isn't afraid to die." He talked and she listened, trying to provide him with any bits of comfort she could muster, but she couldn't hide the fearful pounding of her heart in her chest.

"Has anyone come up with a plan?"

He shook his head. "There's nothing to plan, baby. She won."

"Since when do you just give up?" Callie accused.

"Since my entire life is on the line. Callie, you are everything to me. I don't care what happens to me, but I have to make sure you are okay and healthy. Please, baby. I will literally get on my knees if that will show you how serious I am about this." Callie sniffled, biting back the sob in her chest. She halfheartedly pounded her fist against his chest.

"I fucking care what happens to you," she whimpered. "What if I feel the same? What if losing you would kill me?" He hung his head in defeat.

"I am begging you," he murmured. "I have never begged for anything in my life, and I am begging you right now to let me save you." Her heart was shredding, ripping apart along jagged edges.

"What happens when she finishes off the Night Court and inevitably goes wherever it is you want to take me?" He buried his face in her neck.

"Please," was his only response as he held her like she was going to turn to dust before his very eyes. Callie hated it when her friends and family cried and always desperately wanted to help. She thought she knew pain. But sitting here with her mate begging to keep you safe, but that means leaving the only person who made life feel worth fighting for. This was pain. This was heartache. She couldn't lose him.

"I love you," she whispered to him.

"I can't sleep because all I can see is losing you," he admits. "Losing my family."

"I love you," she repeated softly. "I will never, ever leave you."

"Please," he begged.

"Where you go, I go," she said to him. "And if that means following you into certain death, I'd hold your hand and go gladly."

"I waited 500 years to give my love to you," he whispered into the night air of their shared bedroom. "My mind never knew it was you that I was saving it all for, but my body did. I found my first and only home within you. I am equal parts bruised and battered and broken. I've lived a life, and yours has only just begun. For me, you were my brief moment of sunshine on a perpetually stormy day. Give me the peace of knowing that I did everything I could to protect you."

She just kissed him. Reluctantly, he melted against her, using his lips, teeth, and tongue how he felt. She felt the dampness of his cheeks and tasted the saltiness of his tears. If this was all she got- these little moments with him alone in the dark- she could find a way to be okay with that.

"Try to get some sleep, my love," she insisted. He laid his head in her lap and she rubbed his head, staring into the darkness and feeling empty and overflowing at the same time. She knew she was fortunate to have something she was this willing to fight or die for, but really it just felt cruel. The universe had dealt him blow after blow with no reprieve. He'd finally been happy and calm. He'd begun to open up more, show more of his playfulness. Now he was hollow and devastated.

She hummed as she continued to play with his hair. After a while, he snored softly in her lap, and the noise caused something in her to break all over again. She didn't know what it would be, but she knew she had to find them a way out of this. She would not lose him.

So, staring into that darkness, she began to plot.