ACOTAR (Rhysand's POV)

Chapter 12

An energy hummed through the halls of the mountain. It wove its way through High Fae and faeries alike. It wasn't hope. Even though Feyre passed her last two trials, that energy did not lift. Instead, it seemed to press harder on every shoulder and chest under the mountain. A realization dawned for many. It wasn't the possibility of freedom, of being saved, but a knowing that whatever Amarantha had planned for Feyre's last trial, would be her doom. And I was sure that Feyre knew that, too. After that night in her cell, where I licked away the salted pain, her composure changed. Our conversations were few and far between and, if they happened, they were only snipped words and courtesies. Whatever tethers held her together were as weak as my own. 

I continued to escort her each night. I knew that, at the very least, she was safe in my company. Feyre went along, no longer complaining, no longer making those snide remarks I liked so much. She only stared and breathed and drank. I noticed she no longer stole looks at Tamlin. Probably to avoid the pain of receiving nothing back. One would think I'd be delighted by that, but it only opened that hole wider in my chest. And if I didn't know any better, I would think that Feyre looked forward to these moments I whisked her upstairs and handed her the wine. But that despair glinting in her eyes grew darker and darker each day, echoing in mine.

***

Flames danced in the hearth, casting shadows across the ceiling of my dark room. Yet, I felt no warmth. My skin was ice and I shuddered, but not at the cold. Feyre was nearly breaking in the cell below. I could feel the pieces shifting further apart, pulling on those already weak bindings holding them together. There were no sobs or cries that spilled from the wounds now reopening, only darkness and silence. Feyre was only sinking further and further into herself. And I couldn't stop from going with her. 

One of the only items of pleasure I was allowed to keep was the gramophone on the dresser. Nearly every other luxury was removed, prior to my moving to this space. The horn was made of bronze and flowered like the blossom of a petunia. The base was a polished mahogany, with details of gold leafed vines. I ran my fingers across the empty turn table, leaving smudged trails of dust. My throat become plugged with the memory of music flowing through the city - my city. I would leave the windows to my townhouse open on those balmy nights, where the sounds of strings would caress me to sleep. I choked down the thought, only to return to the cold silent room. 

My fingers flicked through the discs someone must have left behind. I wondered who stayed here before and who had given them this music? Another one of the High Lords, no doubt. I pulled out one of the discs and blew off the dust. I recognized the name, surprisingly, and laid it on the player, angling the needle over the edge. I willed the crank to turn, not planning for it to stop. The sounds of a pianoforte lilted through the room, embracing me in it's glow. As the gentleness of the largo twirled in the air, I glanced down to my palm. 

The strings were like liquid gold pouring into those open fissures in my chest. I closed my eyes and let the warmth of it fill me. And, I knew, Feyre could feel it too. Louder the music grew as it continued to crank. The pulse of the beat quickened and drums erupted into a crescendo. A tingling down my spine had me falling to my knees. I rested my brow against the drawers of the dresser, eyes still shut. My breath accelerated with the rhythm and my eyes began to burn. It was only when a quiet sob burst through my lips that I noticed I was crying. 

I could picture it so clearly: The Sidra, the markets, my family. As if I had only left days ago, instead of half a century. I could smell the cinnamon and saffron, feel the velvet and silk of the shoppes I once knew. I could see Mor's angular face, her smile. I pushed my palms into my eyes. Amarantha would not let Feyre win. She would not let any of us go. I could no longer play this game, could no longer keep this mask on. I lowered my hands and they shook at my sides.