"These tears are for joy"

Carpentary

I grab a scalpel and I press against the softness of this skin.
All the imperfections, are long lost now and forgotten.

Forever I have been lost drifting away but today I most definitely feel found.

I feel alive..I feel awake..I can feel this pain right here. It reminds me that I'm not really numbed but I walk as a living dead, yes right here I am wide awake.

This pain is pungent, though sardonic and scathing at the same time. This caustic feeling here in my chest is a blistering vehemence that devastates me but excites me at the same time.

This cut is a cut that revives me, it makes me feel resurrected. Like I have been left for a million years resting, and I finally have gotten startled though woken up.

May this feeling forever devour me, and even though it also forsakes me. I want it to forever wake me..

And act upon me as a carpenter making thinner a thicker cup..

May my heart be forever broken instead of living a life of a 'Love' that is forever an aching lie..

-To my heart.