Just Breathe [Camren]

Chapter Eight

Warning Content of self harm. Trigger.

Enjoy.
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Camila's POV

I stared at myself in the mirror. I heard the door open and I put them away in my drawer before anyone see it. I rolled my sleeves and shirt down. "Camila, we are about to be late for school."

"I will be there in five!" I heard the shuffling and door close. I sighed.

Since a week ago, that day, Lauren hadn't speak a word to me or haven't look in my eyes like she always do.

I walked down the stair. "What took you a long time?" Austin asked as he stood up and walked out the door. I followed him behind.

"Why do you care? We always arrive there an hour early." I rolled my eyes.

**

Lauren was at her locker, talking to some girl. I think it was Normani.

I took a deep breath and walked over to my locker which was only three locker away from her.

"I have to go. I'll see you later." She walked away. This strung me. She will either leave whenever I was around her.

I sighed. I can't push her away.

For some reason, I need her. She makes me feel safe whenever she's around me.

Stupid trust issues..

I had a strong urge in my stomach. It's like a fist in the stomach. A tight knot in the stomach. I have to do it right now.

"Hey, Mil-" I shoved her out of my way then ran to the bathroom and locked the stall. I grabbed a little bag in my backpack.

You're not worth to her.

You're fat.

Why would she want to be your friend? You're stupid, worthless and ugly.

I took my sweater off, leaving me tank top.

I grabbed the razors out the bag and placed them on my arm.

I hitched as I made the first slice then I made more.

The feeling of numbness had faded.

I sobbed.

Those voices never go away.

I sobbed more.

I promised myself I wouldn't do it again but I let myself down. It made me sick how cruelty I was to myself, yet, I kept doing it.

I must didn't have heard the door open.

"Camz?" I heard a husky voice. "Where are you?"

I didn't say anything, I kept crying and crying.

"Camz.. open it please.. let me in" I heard her voice begging. Here I am, pushing her away again.

"That's it, I'm crawling." Why won't she give up? Why do she care? She doesn't care about you.

I watched her crawling under the stall.

"Camz.." her voice softened as she saw the broken girl, me.

She crawled next to me and grabbed me into her chest, not caring if my blood sprained her shirt. She started to rubbing my back to calm me down.

"It hurts but you used to the pain.. I loved the feeling of relief and it made me calm.."

"You shouldn't used to it... It shouldn't make you calm. It hurt me to see you like this. I can't say that you have to quit self harming because I know it's not that easy and people can't tell anyone to quit harming like they're telling them to quit smoking or drinking." she sighed. "You need someone who care about you.. someone that will be there for you.. someone that will show you they care.."

She scoffed. "I can't believe I ignored you for a week. What an asshole friend I am."

She got up and unlocked the stall. She came back with a wet paper towel.

"I locked the door. So no one can get in." she told me. She sticks her hand out. I gladly accepted it, she helped to get me up.

"Go sit on the sink, I'll clean you up." I obeyed. She started to clean my strained blood on my arm.

"You're not alone. I'm here for you no matter what even though I only met you little over a month." She's lying, she won't be here for you when you need her

"You're important to me." You're worthless to her.

"When it's over, I'll still be here.." she's lying, she will leave you once you get better.

"I'm not going to leave you." she's lying, she will.

"I do care about you." I looked at Lauren's eyes. I stared into her eyes and found nothing but truth.

"I-I never had a friend did do this as you just did.. No one showed me they care.. They will come and leave.." I said.

"But why are you doing this..." I asked her.

"I do care. Period." Lauren softly smiled at me. "Come to me and tell me what thoughts you have in your mind. I will listen and let you ranting. Camila, this won't be easy but I'll go with you to through this. I promise." Lauren grabbed my hand and smiled.

Lauren had places her hope in me.

A finally positive voice in my mind.

There is a little hope inside my pocket.
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Hey everybody, here's an update! For now. I have to study for final exams this week then after that, I'll be sophomore! Ah finally summer.

I hope you do like the new cover. COMMENT. I want some feedback and I'll appreciate it if you did.

I hope this chapter isn't suck.

Vote. Comment. Share.

-Camie