Chapter 3: Left Alone

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We finally arrive our building. I'm so tired both physically and emotionally. I went directly to my room and stared at the boring surface of our roof.

I realized that the surface is as boring as me. As blank as me. I may smile a lot, but I'm still blank. I have no reason to smile, to cry or to even live. The only thing that makes me want to live is the Bellas. That's why we need to win the world's.

If Jesse is a wall what is in there. Maybe some CDs of his favorite movies. That's Jesse. He's interesting. If he is a wall there's something placed on him.

If Komissar is a wall what is in there. Maybe nothing, but the color of it is something beautiful, the surface is something smooth. She's physically flawless like what Beca said. She doesn't need something in her wall because it's already beautiful.

Everything that Beca said was an accident. That's the worst part. She didn't think about it because she's sure. She hates Komissar, but can't express it because she likes her at the same time.

Who am I compared to those people? I'm the plain white wall. Nothing in it. Nothing special. What am I compared to the other two walls.

Wow, why am I thinking about walls. Maybe I just miss the Beca who has this imaginary 4 walled room. A room that was only for her. She pushed away anyone who comes close to it.

Breaking those walls was an honor. Until she let someone in, Jesse. That's when Beca broke that 4 walls herself and started trusting people.

Maybe while I was trying to break it she didn't notice I was there that the pieces she broke fell on me.

"You shout it out,
But I can't hear a word you say
I'm talking loud, not saying much
I'm criticized
but all your bullets ricochet
You shoot me down, but I get up"

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