Mixed Feelings

Mixed feelings chapter 66: Checkmate

"Back to your question.. what was Monclare like..?" repeats Joy as she takes her glasses off.
*silence.*
"Back when I was.. much "younger", I'd say right about your age. I had developed a huge crush on the most popular guy in school." says Joy. "Now.. I know.. this might sound like some romance cliché.. and goodness, it really was..!" she adds.
"You're.. still talking about grandpa, right grandma?" questions Kameron as he raises an eyebrow.
"Don't be ridiculous, of course I am!" spouts Joy.
"I'm just kidding.." says Kameron almost immediately.
"Monclare was charming..! but, not to mention.. insanely stubborn, to say the least.. which.. I actually kind of liked about him. Later on he had grown an intense passion for music." says Joy with a smile on her face. "Mainly jazz music, to be specific." she adds.
(Kameron's thoughts;) "I wonder what grandpa was like as a person.. I overheard once that he was the complete opposite of dad."
"I was 18 years old.. and he was 19." says Joy as she folds her arms. "And, it still feels like it all happened yesterday.." she adds.
*Joy's memory.*
"JOY!"
"Monclare..! I've-.." spouts Joy from a distance. "I've looked everywhere for you..! ..I was.. wondering if you wanted to accompany me and Leslie at this party tonight-" she adds.
"I love parties! ..you know me so well!" spouts Monclare with a large smile on his face.
(Joy's thoughts;) "..Please just say yes..! ..that smile won't cut it this time!"
"But.. as much as I would want to go.. I can't." says Monclare as he rubs the back of his neck.
"Huh..? how- how come?" questions Joy.
(Joy's thoughts;) "There has to be another good reason for this one.."
"Well, I.. finally get to do the opening for tonight's show in Houston!" spouts Monclare.
"Oh..?!" spouts Joy in disbelieve. "Uhm.. but, I thought.. that they were going to come to a stop for a while..?" she adds.
"Yea, so did I..!" spouts Monclare. "Turns out that the shows will be continueing! isn't that great news?!" he adds with a bright smile.
"..Yup.. sure is." says Joy.
"Aren't you happy for me?" questions Monclare.
"Yes.. I'm stoked. I'm so excited.. for you!" spouts Joy with a forced smile on her face.
"I'll get you those front row tickets in only a matter of a second. Do you know why?" questions Monclare.
"I wonder why.." says Joy with a frown on her face.
"Because I care about you!" spouts Monclare.
*silence.*
"I.. care about you too.." mumbles Joy awkwardly.
"So, you'll come see me tonight?" questions Monclare. "I swear that I'll return the favor!" he adds.
"Just.. get those front row tickets taken care of." says Joy firmly.
"Checkmate." says Monclare.
*End of memory.*
(Kameron's thoughts;) "Checkmate..? ..so, that's where dad gets it from.."
"What did grandpa mean by saying 'checkmate'?" questions Kameron.
"Ah.. that really was his favorite word in the book, he'd always say it at the most random times.." says Joy. "I had no clue what he meant by it and I still don't." she adds.
(Kameron's thoughts;) "I do know that it's said before the final move in chess. But.. I think there's an even deeper meaning to it."
"The craziest part of it all was that eventhough I knew that he just saw me as a 'friend'.. I still had this little voice in my head telling me that he didn't." says Joy. "And.. that he was just too shy to tell me that." she adds.
(Kameron's thoughts;) "I love you grandma.. but, that just seems kind of delusional to say the least."
"He was always so oblivious to the fact that I was head over heels in love with him.." says Joy. "It was quite adorable." she adds.
"Oblivious? ..what makes you say that, gran?" questions Kameron curiously.
"Well.. assuming by the way we spoke to one another.. and the special treatment he'd give me.. it wasn't the exact way 'friends' would normally speak to each other or treat each other, people around us took notice and that's when the rumors started.. but even so.. he'd still continue calling me his 'best friend'.." admits Joy. "Then.. I figured out that he had a little crush on me as well.. unfortunately, he was the only one that didn't acknowledge it until the very end.. literally." she adds.
*Joy's 2nd memory.*
"WHAT THE HELL DO YOU THINK YOU'RE DOING MAN?!" spouts Chris.
"Something that I should've done a long time ago.." says Monclare firmly.
"WHAT..?! YOU'RE JUST GOING TO LEAVE WHEN YOU'VE GOT THIS HUGE CROWD WAITING FOR YOU?! ..WHAT ABOUT THE MONEY MAN.. THE FAME!!" spouts Chris.
"Wake up, Chris.. this isn't living." says Monclare.
"YES IT IS, WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT? HAVE YOU LOST YOUR MIND?! ..YOU'RE TELLING ME THAT YOU'RE JUST GOING TO DROP ALL OF THIS.. BECAUSE- BECAUSE OF A.. GIRL?" spouts Chris hysterically.
"..There's nothing to lie about.. all things come to an end eventually.." says Monclare. "All I'm doing is.. growing up." he adds.
"As much as I like to hear that, you're still only 22 years old.." mumbles Chris. "I'm speechless.. man.. all of that time and energy we had put into this.. gone to fucking waste." says Chris as he lets out a big sigh.
"Listen.. Chris. And, listen carefully. I love Jazz.. I really do.. and that's never going to change." says Monclare firmly. "But.. It came to a point where I couldn't even think about anything other than that.. so I took a minute and thought about it. And, I came to realize that I wasn't actually being completely true to myself.." he adds.
*silence.*
"I had to lose her in order to realize that she was someone far more important to me.." says Monclare.
"Don't tell me.." mumbles Chris.
"I'm in love with Joy." admits Monclare followed by a long pause.
"..So.. that's.. it?" questions Chris.
"Joy is at the ER right now.. and I don't want to miss even a second of my son's birth." says Monclare firmly. "I don't think I'd ever be able to forgive myself for that." he adds.
"I.. I just don't understand.." says Chris firmly. "Just about a year ago.. I swear.. you never had the time of day for her, and now.. all of a sudden-" says Chris.
"..I don't want my unborn son to be anything like me. I'll make sure of it. He has a strong and loving mother, that'll take far better care of him than mom and dad did." says Monclare as he looks down.
"You.. still deserve to be happy." says Chris firmly.
"No.. Joy does. And I'm not going to take that away from her. That's the least I could do.." says Monclare.
"..Well then.. what's the hold up? mumbles Chris. "Go." he adds.
"I-.." mumbles Monclare. "Come see us soon, alright?" he adds.
"Promises are commitments. And, to be completely fucking honest.. I suck at it." says Chris firmly. "So, I won't promise you shit, loverboy." he adds.
"I trust you to come see my son soon as well." says Monclare with a big smile on his face.
(Chris's thoughts;) "..What are you smiling so hard for man..? there's no guarantee that your career is going to be ruined after this.."
"Yea.. for sure! ..you know I wouldn't miss it for the world." says Chris happily.
*End of memory.*
"I had Monclare explain all of this to me when he showed up later to the hospital than he said he would.. yea, I remember not being too pleased about it." says Joy as she lets out a sigh. "Until I realized how much he sacrificed in order to show up." she adds with a smile.
"Chris and grandpa sound like they were really close.." says Kameron.
"They were.. Chris is your grand-uncle!" says Joy as she lets out some laughter.
"WHAT..?! ..CHRIS IS GRANDPA'S BROTHER?!" spouts Kameron.
"..Is it that shocking to you?! ..They lived with their auntie who barely made time for them.. she was a true workaholic. So they were mostly on their own. As the eldest out of the two, Chris was left with no other choice but to take care of Monclare all by himself.. Chris being about 14 years old, and Monclare was only 8." says Joy. "Therefore, I understand why Chris treated Monclare the way he did.. he was very overprotective. And, rather easy to read, I was the only one who knew that he hated the idea of Monclare and I being together. Yet, decades later. I'm still very grateful for all of it." she adds.
(Kameron's thoughts;) "I wonder where Chris is and what he's up to after all those years.. he must be 70 years old now, I hope he's doing well."