Writing a book

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So Alex does what he's best at, he leaves Neema alone and he dates around. None of them are like her, smart, funny, annoying and demanding. That's how he likes them, being the complete opposite of her. She and Blake soon become a thing because she has nothing to wait for and Alex acts like he doesn't care. It's another thing he's good at, acting like he doesn't care that his mom is never around, acting like he doesn't care that his dad hasn't found a woman to be happy with, acting like he doesn't care that all Clair wants is someone to look good with, acting like he doesn't care that there's a Neema shaped hole inside him. Yeah, he doesn't care. Clair met Alex's father a week after their first date and instantly didn't like him, Alex's father didn't like her either if they were being honest... But they weren't--being honest that is. Alex drives Clair around for another good week, taking her here and there so they can be seen together then he ends it. A week later he meets Maxie a girl with blue eyes and black hair and a smile that looks like hope, he stays with her for a week before he tells her it's not working. He's so frustrated with his lack of interest in these girls who throw themselves at him. He decides his problem is that they never add up to Neema, he just needs to meet someone who's on her level. The hard part is finding someone who he thinks could be on her level. As soon as Neema walked into his life he put her on the highest pedestal to ever be. He showered her with attention and adoration, never gifts or material things, just what she asked of him. He's never going to find anyone who adds up to Neema because there is no one who adds up to her. In Alex's mind you could take every good quality about every girl in the world and put them together and he would still take all of Neema's bad qualities. The way she talks too loud in a quiet room and the way she refuses to take Alex's crap. The way she rolls her eyes every time she sees him and the way her clothes are always a little too big for her body. Everything that other people would ignore are the things that Alex holds onto, the things he cherishes the most. Love is too cliche of a word to use, has been used too many times by people who didn't understand what they were saying. Adoration is too simple a word to explain the feeling he gets when he's with her. Celebrities can be adored and you have never met them. Alex knows Neema like the back of his hand. He's devoted to her smile and laugh and the way she walks. In his mind there are no words for how he feels about Neema. Every time he's with her he feels like she's suffocating him, but also giving him too much space. He feels like she's running from him only to run right back to him. Alex has no one word to describe his feelings because one word would never be enough, he'd have to write a whole book.

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