King of the Woods, or Trivial Pursuit

Part 19 - Ice Cube

A woman's voice said, "You mourn the loss of the Green."

Byron sat bolt upright. "This isn't what it looks like."

He turned to see a young woman wearing dreadlocks and a simple, ankle-length dress. A large, yellow-brown dog stood at her side.

"These weren't my plants," Byron said.

Dread Girl smiled. "You fed them. Watered them. Set wards to protect them. Even sang to them. Your heart swelled as you watched them grow strong, and your heart weeps at their absence. You cannot hide your love for the Green."

"Damn," Byron said. "Busted. How did you know about the singing?"

"My friends told me," she said. "'Just waking up in the morning, gotta thank God. I don't know but today seems kinda odd. No barking from the dog, no smog, and momma cooked a breakfast with no hog.' They liked that one best."

Byron grinned. "Can't go wrong with Ice Cube. You know, I'm flattered that you guys think that I'm important enough for audio surveillance. I don't think I am, but I better shut up until I speak with an attorney."

"About what?" Dread Girl said.

Byron got on his knees and put his hands over his head. "I am unarmed. Don't shoot."

"What are you doing?" she said.

"Surrendering," Byron said. "I promise I won't resist. These muscles are just for fun."

He winked at her.

"How have you transgressed, that I should punish you?" she said.

"Oh ho," Byron said. "Not going to fall for that one, thanks."

"Can it be?" she said. "Has man fallen so far that loving the Green is a crime?"

"Um, is that a trick question?" Byron said.

She approached Byron, who was still kneeling, and gently took his hands.

"You have some freaky long fingers," Byron said. "No offense."

"I am not your enemy," Dread Girl said. "And our enemy would show you no mercy. Fight to your last breath."

"I don't believe in violence," Byron said. "I fight fires, not people."

"I fight fires and the men who set them," she said. "We both serve the Green."

"You love the green?" Byron said.

"I can't live without it," she said.

"I thought your look was an undercover thing," Byron said. "Thought you were laying it on kind of thick, to be honest. You're really not going to arrest me?"

She put her hands on his shoulders. "Rise, Knight of the Green. I am only here to stop these fires, once and for all."

He stood and offered her his hand.

"Same here," Byron said. "I'm Ranger Byron Wong, though I guess you probably already know that. Nice to meet you...?"

Dread Girl told him her name.

"Cool name," Byron said. "So, you're an arson detective?"

Dread Girl nodded.

"And he's your partner?" Byron indicated Rex, who barked happily.

She nodded again.

"Can I pet him?" Byron said. Rex bared his teeth.

"That would be a poor decision," she said.

"Work dog, right." Byron wiped his eyes and looked casual. "So, you think someone set this fire?"

"Yes," she said. "And many others."

"At least this one was not as bad as the ones before," Byron said. "It would have been a lot worse without last night's storm."

"Tell that to those who burned," Dread Girl said. "The storm wasn't big enough."

Byron looked at the remnants of his marijuana field. "Yeah."

"Do not fear," Dread Girl said. "The man responsible will die by my hand."

"Do you want any help?" Byron grinned.

"No." Dread Girl said.

"Damn, girl," Byron said. "You're ice cold. I sort of feel sorry for the guy now. Any idea who he is?"

"I know," Dread Girl said. "So does Ray."

"You know Ray?" Byron said. "Oh, fuck. You're that girl. You guys got me good. He's going to pay for this."

"Ray is innocent," Dread Girl said. "You will not harm him."

"Harm him?" Byron said. "I'll just prank him back later. How the hell did he even know about my grow? And why are we dicking around here if Ray knows who did it?"

"He just found out," Dread Girl said. "I wanted him to understand why."

"Why, what?" Byron said. "Just tell him. He's somewhere around here."

"Byron!" Ray shouted. "Where are you?!"

"See?" Byron said.

He turned towards Ray's voice. "This way! Watch out for barbed wire!"

Dread Girl said, "Please protect him, he is dear to me."

"Hold up," Byron said, turning back to her. "Ray's a good guy, and he's in to you. You should give him a chance."

But Dread Girl was gone.

-

"What did she say?" Ray had joined Byron in the burnt out marijuana patch.

"She wants the D," Byron said. "Your D, specifically."

"That's not what she said," Ray said.

"That's what I heard, bro," Byron said. "Her lips are aching, and she needs some of that chapstick."

"Gah!" Ray said. "What did she actually say?"

Byron scratched his temple. "Something about you being a deer."

"What does that even mean?" Ray said.

"You can't spell deer without the D," Byron observed.

"You're useless," Ray said.

"There was something else," Byron said. "I think she wants to hang out later. She said something about a night of the green."

Ray surveyed the destroyed marijuana plants. "I don't think that's going to happen. When were you going to tell me about this, anyway?"

"I wasn't," Byron said. "But now you know why I can sell it so cheap. Could sell it so cheap."

"I'm sorry about your weed," Ray said.

Byron threw a handful of ash skyward. "Windy dust, bro. That's all a man's dreams are."

Ray squeezed his eyes shut in time, but some still got in his hair. "You didn't have to keep this a secret."

"I didn't want to get you in trouble," Byron said. "Besides, you've been keeping secrets too. Trivia said you know who set the fires."

"Who?" Ray said.

"That's what I want to know," Byron said.

"No, who's Trivia?" Ray said.

"Your girl, dipshit," Byron said.

"I told you I didn't know her name," Ray said. "When I asked, she said it doesn't matter. Oh."

Byron grinned broadly, then less broadly, then not at all. "I don't get it."

"It doesn't matter," Ray said. "It's Trivia."

"Whatever, man," Byron said. "Who set the fires?"

Ray showed Byron the bottle of lighter fluid. "This is going to sound crazy."