On the Way Down

Chapter Five

Ava makes good on her promise. She's at my side for the rest of the night to make sure my focus is on hanging out with Torin, since the women who came in with Nash remain barnacles in his presence, wherever he goes. He seems to encourage it, though, and has already engaged in a few casual acts of making out with one of them by the time the party heads to the backyard. I see now why Ava said Nash lives for the devil-may-care type of scheme she'd cooked up.

I sit with her and Torin at the pool's edge for a couple of hours, our legs dangling in the water as we laugh over old memories of college pranks and catch up on current happenings in each of our lives. Phoenix spends most of his time on the patio, talking to Nash and the two women. That's probably because of the death glare Ava beams in his direction any time he glances our way. It isn't until nearly four in the morning, after we're back inside the house and saying our goodbyes, that he dares to approach me again.

"Can I text you about this weekend?"

He keeps his voice at a low volume, but he's still living dangerously by asking this when Ava is only a few feet away. She's busy joking with Torin and Nash about something, though, and her back is turned to us.

I pretend to rifle through my purse and avoid eye contact. "If you have my number and remember how to send texts, then I'd guess you're physically capable of it."

"Has your number changed?"

"Nope."

If he still has my number, then that's one up on me. Ava made me delete him from my contacts when it became clear he wasn't answering my texts or calls. Letting go of the one tether I had to him at the time wasn't easy, but it prevented me from acting on later moments of weakness when I was tempted to try again. It would surprise me to hear from him after tonight, no matter how he's behaving at the moment. Out of sight, out of mind, has been his modus operandi since the last time we laid eyes on one another.

"Can I hug you before you go?" Phoenix's words are even softer now.

I consider another non-answer that attacks his use of "can" and doesn't answer the question, but it likely isn't worth expending the energy. At least he's requesting permission to get into my personal space this time.

"Sure." My tone is flat. He doesn't notice my lack of enthusiasm, or he ignores it, because his arms sweep me into a hug the instant I agree.

The déjà vu almost knocks me over. I used to feel safe and shielded from the world when Phoenix put his arms around me, and like nothing could ever come between us. His embrace was my cocoon. I'm transported back to that place for a nanosecond, which is also when my arms return his hug.

"I'm so thankful I saw you tonight," he whispers. "You have no idea."

No, I don't. There are other things I also have no idea about, including why I inhale the scents of his soap and shampoo as an automatic reflex, and why my body relaxes, rather than tenses up, the longer I stay in his arms.

"Our ride is waiting for us," Ava chirps. She pats my arm. "Time to go."

Phoenix takes the hint and releases me. I didn't want to breathe the same air as him a few hours ago, so why am I reluctant to step away from him now?

I'm tired, that's why. It has to be. My brain will sort this out after some sleep.

"Good night." I study his face, and I don't know what for. It only reminds me of how attractive he is with a five o'clock shadow and surfaces the memory of when I used to run my fingers over his chin and along his jaw. He appears to search my face for something, too.

The spell breaks when Ava grabs my hand and pulls me away. She says nothing to me while we amble down the driveway and climb into the Uber's back seat. The quiet only lasts until we're buckled in.