"How'd it go" my mom asked scaring the life out of me.
"Mom, why are you sitting in the dark, you scared me" I said.
"I heard you two outside, now how'd it go Mija" she asked again.
"Fine" I said keeping it simple.
"He accepts the fact that he's going to be a father. He says he's going to help me. But you know actions speak louder than word" I said .
"Well that's good, I thought I was going to have to commit a first 48" my mom said causing me to laugh.
And that's exactly why I didn't bring up the fact that he suggested an abortion. My mom would have been livid. She's loca.
"Mom, you're a trip" I said.
"Ori let me ask you something " she said.
"Mom, please not tonight, I don't want to know how disappointed you are in me "
"I am, but I still love you regardless. But I just wanted to ask you how you felt about everything. ?"
"Mom, honestly I'm scared. Look around us, no offense mom, but this isn't exactly the enviorment I wanted to raise my children in" I said.
She looked a bit hurt by what I said.
"And mom, I don't want you to ever think I don't appreciate what you do for me because I know you work your ass off to keep a roof over our head , but this place is barely has enough room for you and me, let alone a baby. " I continued to rant.
She just sat back and listened.
"I'm just stressed mom. How am I going to afford the essentials for a child, that little bakery job isn't enough and you even said it yourself. Yeah, there's Maleek , but I can't depend on him for everything" I continued.
I refuse to be the baby mama that feeds of there baby daddy.
I didn't even noticed I was crying until my mom reached up and wiped my tears.
I was so tired of crying.
"Look, Mija--" she paused.
I could tell she didn't know what to say this time. So instead , she just reached down and hugged me .
"Let's go to sleep" she said.
"Goodnight " I said as I went to my room .
For the third time this morning , I found myself hunched over the toilet throwing up.
I wanted to cry . My throat was beyond dry and my eyes seemed to be just as dry.
Just as I got up to brush my teeth, I felt the urge to throw up again. I looked up to see my mom watching me.
"Is this normal" I sighed while dry heaving .
She passed me a bottle of water before responding .
"Yes, hunny, it should only last for about the first three months" she said.
I sighed before getting up and brushing my teeth.
"Did you take your prenatals" she asked .
"I forgot to " I said still drained.
She left the bathroom and went to get them for me.
I took them and made my way to my room to see three missed calls from Maleek.