Girl you so special, i don't mind being
disrespectful..
_________________________________
Megan Pete
October 25th
Houston, Tx
My eyes raked over Loren, her hair parted on the side with loose curls that bounced with every move she made. Her hair was freshly done and she wore an outfit I had never seen before which let me know it was new. I expected nothing less due to the fact that it was her birthday but the way she yearned for my approval made me wonder if she went the extra mile for me. Unfortunately for the both of us, her look had done nothing for me.
Not that I deemed my first love unattractive, Loren was beautiful but she was no longer the apple of my eye. For years I couldn't imagine being attracted to anyone besides Loren but life had a real sadistic way of proving me wrong. The fact that I enjoyed it was something I hated, I enjoyed betraying my girlfriend and I hated it.
"How do I look?" Loren questioned, her eyes lingered hopefully on me as she awaited an answer.
The question confirmed what I already suspected, that Loren did some of this with me in mind. Loren was clueless as to what was distancing us but she was very aware that we were distant. I hadn't touched Loren in weeks and had no intentions on doing so anytime soon, though I owed her my loyalty, I gave it more to the woman I was betraying her for.
Loren hadn't hinted to any suspicious of my affair, I was almost certain she wouldn't expect that from me. Loyalty had been my best characteristic and within two months that drastically changed. I was now disloyal as they came, to Loren anyways, but she hadn't realized that yet.
The fact that Loren considered the possibility of my feelings and what I may be experiencing in life made cheating on her even worse. She wasn't some unreasonable, difficult woman. Despite her shortcomings she overall had a good heart.
Loren fell into a hole, a hole so deep that I couldn't pull her out of it. A hole so deep and dark that when you got out of it you had no choice but to believe there was a God. I was unaware of the depression she'd suffered, she hid it well but our relationship changed. Then Loren decided that it'd be better if we broke up and I respected that.
After two years of being apart we reconnected. Loren admitted to feeling like herself again so I thought everything would be back to normal but we still felt different. We had to relearn one another and the more we did, the distant we became.
I realized that in the span of those two years we both changed and it wasn't something I liked. Loren chose to stick it out, she felt that this was just a bump in the road but I, I looked elsewhere for support.
"You look really pretty." My response was simple but true, Loren looked incredibly pretty. With ease she rushed over to me and pressed her lips against mine.
"I didn't have to stand on my tippy toes this time." Loren joked due to her wearing heels, a goofy grin on her face and it made me smile. Moments like these reminded me of my love for Loren.
I knew I would always love Loren, she was my first love. We dated straight out of college, broke up and found our way back to one another. I know that had to mean something, I'm the one who made us complicated unbeknownst to Loren. I hoped that this was just something that would pass, something that I could keep to myself forever and pretend never happened.
