Strangers To Lovers

Chapter Eleven.

Ella was by my side, her fingers wriggling nervously as she eagerly gazed around my house. It was almost amusing to see how fascinated she was with every little detail, her wide eyes examining every inch. I could feel my own fingers trembling at my sides. It had been a long time since anyone visited my place, and this was different-she was different. Her presence, even in the simplest moment, had my nerves on edge.

I couldn't remember the last time I had a woman over. The realization brought a flush of heat to my skin. It was an odd mixture of excitement and anxiety, a sensation I wasn't used to. Even though I was overjoyed to have someone with me, my mind kept racing through all the ways this could go wrong. What if she felt uncomfortable? What if I'd read this situation entirely wrong?

But as Ella took in the surroundings, her smile growing, I realized she was enjoying herself. Still, I couldn't shake the lingering sense of nervousness.

"You have a beautiful place," she said, breaking the silence as her gaze landed on the glass wall overlooking the lake.

"Thanks," I replied, trying not to let the tightness in my chest show. Her compliment eased me slightly, but I was still far too aware of her presence.

As I watched her, the words came unbidden to my mind: Is this how it's supposed to feel? I tried to shove the thought aside, but it lingered, especially when I caught her looking out at the lake with that quiet, awe-struck expression. I didn't want to mess this up.

"Want to go outside?" I suggested, gesturing to the deck overlooking the water.

Ella hesitated for a second, but then nodded. "Yeah, that sounds nice."

We walked outside, and the crisp air greeted us, bringing a small amount of relief to my mounting nerves. I opened the fridge next to the outdoor grill, reaching for a couple of bottles of water. Ella leaned on the railing, staring at the shimmering surface of the lake.

"It's so peaceful here," she said softly. "Like... time just slows down."

I handed her a bottle of water, nodding in agreement. "Yeah, it's one of the reasons I bought this place."

She looked at me with a small smile. "Does it ever get lonely?"

Her question caught me off guard. I wasn't expecting her to ask that-most people never asked about the loneliness, only about the luxury. I hesitated for a second before answering.

"Sometimes," I admitted, my voice quieter than intended. "But I like the quiet. It gives me space to think."

Ella's expression softened, and she looked at me as if she understood, really understood. There was something about the way she listened, like she wasn't just hearing the words but reading between the lines. It made me want to open up, even though a part of me resisted.

"I get that," she said, turning her gaze back to the water. "Sometimes, the quiet is the only thing that keeps you sane."

For a moment, neither of us spoke. The comfortable silence between us felt new and strange, but not unpleasant. I found myself stealing glances at her, wondering what she was thinking. Was she as nervous as I was?

She broke the silence first. "So... you actually cook?" There was a teasing edge to her voice, and her eyebrows arched with curiosity.

I chuckled, rubbing the back of my neck. "Yeah, believe it or not. I find it calming."

She looked at me like I'd just confessed a secret. "I never would've pegged you for a cook. I figured you had a chef or something."

I grinned. "I'm not that useless."

She laughed, a sound that instantly made me feel lighter. "I don't think you're useless. Just... surprising."

"Surprising, huh?" I raised an eyebrow, playfully offended.

"Yeah, I mean, you're full of surprises. First, the whole cooking thing, and then this place... It's not exactly what I expected."

I tilted my head, curious. "What did you expect?"

Ella took a moment, her fingers running along the railing. "I guess I thought it'd be more... cold. You know, like it's just a house. But this-" she gestured to the lake and the cozy outdoor seating "-this feels more like a home. Like you've actually put some thought into it."

I didn't know how to respond to that. No one had ever said anything like that to me before, and it made me feel... proud? Maybe a little seen.

"Well, I'm glad you like it," I said, the words sounding inadequate compared to the way her compliment made me feel.

Ella smiled again, and I could tell there was something more she wanted to say, but she hesitated. The way her fingers curled around the water bottle betrayed her nerves, and for a moment, I wondered if I should ask. But then she spoke before I could.

"You know," she began, her voice quieter now, "I'm not really used to this."

"Used to what?"

She gestured between us. "This. You being... like this. I mean, when I first met you, I didn't think you were the type to..." She trailed off, clearly unsure of how to finish the thought.

"To what?" I prompted gently.

"To care, I guess. Or to let someone in. You seemed so closed off."

Her words hit me harder than I expected. I couldn't deny that she was right, but hearing her say it out loud felt like a challenge, like she was daring me to open up more, to let her in.

I took a deep breath, leaning against the railing beside her. "Yeah, I guess I have a habit of keeping people at arm's length."

She turned to face me fully, her eyes searching mine. "Why?"

That was the question, wasn't it? The one I never wanted to answer. But here she was, asking me straight out, and for some reason, I didn't want to lie to her.

"I guess it's easier that way," I said finally. "Less risk."

She nodded, as if she'd expected that answer. "But isn't it lonelier?"

I shrugged, though I couldn't deny the truth of her words. "Maybe. But I've gotten used to it."

Ella looked at me with something I couldn't quite place-compassion, maybe. "You don't have to keep everyone out, you know."

I looked away, unable to meet her gaze. "I know."

The conversation lingered in the air between us, and I felt like we were on the edge of something-something that could change everything. But before I could figure out what to say next, Ella placed her hand on mine, a light touch that sent warmth through me.

"Hey," she said softly, "I'm not going anywhere."

It was such a simple statement, but it hit me like a punch to the gut. I looked at her, really looked at her, and for the first time, I allowed myself to believe it.

"Yeah," I said, my voice low. "I know."

The tension that had been building between us seemed to dissipate in that moment, replaced by something warmer, something more real. We stood there for a while longer, side by side, the quiet of the lake surrounding us. For once, I wasn't worried about what would happen next. All I knew was that, for the first time in a long time, I wasn't alone.