Part 5: Room With A View

Chapter 3.

Vigga's P.O.V.

I lay rolled up in my blankets in my bed. Through the small window I could see the sun rise. The days finally stated to become normal: just as much night as day. I had missed the dark of night, which the summer was empty of. Up here there was one rule of the universe: with the light comes the summer, with the darkness comes the winter. And here it was, darkness. The winter was on its way. The summer faded away quick, so did the light and the sun. But I didn't care much. I liked the dark... London is pretty at this time of the year. The leaves are falling. The rain becomes a part of every day. I miss that. I miss rain.. Because after rain it all feels clean and pure. Everything gets cleaned up: the stupid of days gets washed away and the world just feels new? And after the rain there comes snow. Snow, snow, snow! I know Harry's not the snow-lover kind of guy. Don't get me wrong he likes skiing and stuff - but never ever could he live like I do now. It doesn't matter.. Harry is not in London, Harry is not in the middle of the rain and beauty of London. Harry will not be cranky because of all the snow in London. He is out there - Italy I believe - having the time of his life. And I'm here - in the middle of the sown - having the time of mine.. We Skype every Sunday - catching up. It nice. It not too much and not too little. We do not stress about missed calls or forgetting to call back. We talk like we were in the same room, the same building, the same city and country. It works - we make it work. You know, we need to get an everyday life working and that's how we do it.

Every Sunday-catch-up is different. Some days we talk for hours! We just talk and laugh and tell each other about the people around us. Some days we cry. It can all be too much and then we both just need to cry.. So we just sit there - looking at each other on a screen and cry, not talking, just crying. Other days we do neither. We just sit there looking at each other with out a word. Trying to remember the smells, the touch. I like those day the most. The days we don't have to speak, the days were we just know.. And then he will write a song and I will do some paper-work, not talking to each other but knowing the other person it right there. Those are the Sundays I like the best.

Mornings are the worst. Just like now. The sad feeling of an empty bed is unbearable when you are used to a full one.. You don't need that extra space you have fought over in you sleep in the middle of the night. Now the bed is too big. When I roll over I do not hit anyone in the face. I do not take the blanket from anyone. And that's sad, or it makes me sad. It makes me sad to wake up alone.. but I'm here you know! I'm right here where I always wanted to be! And I'm happy! I really am! Of course I will miss Harry - everything else would be weird? But I'm here and as soon as I move out of the big empty bed and the day begins, it is all better. I'm happy!

The days go by easily. I spend most of my day working. Not something fancy, but just to get enough money to stay on my feet. Harry said not to worry about money, that I could always come to him.. I hate when he do that. You know, that "thing" there he acts like money is nothing.. I know he is only doing it to help and be nice and sweet. But God, I can't! I don't like him using money "on" me.. Not even presents. It's not right? I'm not with him for his money? I'm not with him to get beautiful presents. I'm not with him so he can pay my stay in Norway? It's not like I don't want anything from him, but I believe he made his money by hard work and I will do the same. I don't what to sit back and live on his money, I would actually like to make my own and do something with my life! I pay my own stuff he pays his - I would be like this with every other human. I'm not saying it should be like this forever, I'm not saying we should be like "this is mine, this is yours" forever, but right now it's what I'm comfortable with. I'll just rather be with him than his money.

Christmas is coming soon. With Christmas comes a New Year. With the New Year comes February and with February comes Harrys Birthday. 21 is a big one.. I know he's sad I'm not there with him.. but I've been talking with Ashton and Niall lately and they've been trying to come up with something for him. By the time of his birthday they are going to be in Denmark, which is kind of perfect. Ashton suggested I could take the weekend off and surprise him, so that's what we are working on right now. But it's kind of hard because Harry is always there! I can't Skype with them without Haz finding out. So we came up with this thing: every time we need to talk they say they are talking with their family, so I have been called a bit of everything.. From Niall Granny to Ashton's little brother. But its kind of fun, sneaking around and have secrets. I really do hope this is going to work out!