Sorry about the blood in your mouth. I wish it was mine. I couldn't get the boy to kill me, but I wore his jacket for the longest time.
RICHARD SIKEN, CRUSH
It's hard to forget the sound of gunshots ringing in your ears. It's even harder to forget the awful sight of the bullets meeting their target when there is nothing you can do to stop it and you know they were meant for you instead. Nothing will ever be able prepare you for the moment you watch the light leave the eyes of someone you love. Weeks can pass, and the blood still won't rinse off if your hands even after you scrub them raw. Some things stick with you forever.
This is one of them.
You, standing there. A gun, pointed at you. Your best friend, jumping in the middle of it.
And her smile, right before she dies.
Grief, Satō Mai learned, in all its ugly forms, is another thing that sticks with you forever. It's like a knife lodged in your chest that twists and twists and twists until the softest parts of you have been carved out. Not that Mai has ever been very soft to begin with... The world had already chewed her up and spit her back out more times than she can count. She didn't think it could possibly get any worse until the moment she felt her heart die in hands when Kaneko Sumiye took her last breath. Now all that's left of it is an empty shell, a husk of something that was but will never be again. They say time heals all wounds, yet so far all it has done for Mai is feed the white-hot rage that has been gnawing at her insides like a rabid dog with a taste for blood and carrion.
And just when it seems like Mai's rage is finally about to reach its boiling point, ex-Black Dragon member Hong Jae-min waltzes into her life. Hong Jae-min, who is, perhaps, just as lost in this cruel, fucked-up world as she is. Hong Jae-min, who has seen her for all that she is — cruel and vicious, with a bite that hurts even more than her bark — and didn't run the other way. Hong Jae-min, who might just be the only person besides Sumiye who has ever been able to chip away at the ice around her blackened, decaying heart.
Hong Jae-min, who becomes yet another thing that Mai is terrified to lose.
✷
OR: What happens when you pull the pin from a grenade.
(Spoiler: It's not pretty.)
SATŌ MAI
Oops! This image does not follow our content guidelines. To continue publishing, please remove it or upload a different image.
