Some Thing Called Myself (Complete)

XXVIII: something sweet

Ch. 28: Something Sweet

The mental fog caused by the hunger was fanned away when Mara locked eyes with Tai. Something about their presence pinned a sharp pain in her muscles. Mara's heart raced, punching her chest from within like a boxer hitting their sandbag.

Shame fell on her shoulders as the cut of raw meat warmed up in her hand. She was so weak.

Tai's eyes pierced hers, suddenly much older and wiser than Tai had ever seemed to be. Those were knowing eyes, too. The eyes of someone who finally uncovers your dirtiest secret.

Mara wished she could be an actual boxer and have her hands wrapped in big red gloves instead of cold crimson blood. She froze, her face carefully void of expression despite the piece of meat she was holding. Mother nature taught her it's better not to run away when facing a predator, so she stood very still.

The crease between Tai's eyebrows deepened. Their muscles tensed, and their body leaned forward and backward as if they wanted to step closer but decided not to.

"What...what are you doing, Mara? What's all this?" Tai gestured around the room to the half-eaten fruits and vegetables spread in the kitchen. Their eyes flicked towards the opened book on the dining table, then back at Mara. "And what's that?" They pointed at the blood-dripping picanha in her hands.

"Nothing." Mother nature also taught her that a lie is more effective when closer to the truth. "I'm just hungry."

"Right." Tai nodded...in pure disbelief. "And so you decided to sneak out of the infirmary with a wounded leg and waltz around the HQ at three in the morning...in search of food?" Now they did step forward. "It's dangerous in here, remember? You shouldn't be going around at night by yourself. If anything happens to you, I...I'll be in trouble too. Worse, if something happens to you, the SA Sents are done, Mara."

She pursed her lips. "Maybe you should've kept a closer eye on your prisoner."

"And maybe you should become a real Sent again!" they snapped.

For a long, silent moment, Mara did nothing but stare at them, discomfort gurgling in her chest. She schooled her grimace and looked away. Mara didn't need any more opportunities to compare herself with the versions of her that lived in the past, all of them brimming with the potential she had wasted.

"Whatever," she mumbled. Despite the pain growing in her heart, she forced out a little laugh. "If you really wanted that, you'd have Sent me to the past. Sent me—got it? Sent, Sentinel?"

Tai groaned and rolled their eyes.

"Forget it. I didn't"—Mara scoffed—"sneak out." Liar. "I left a note for you. I think. Saying I'd leave for a few minutes." She lowered the piece of meat and held it with both hands, fidgeting with it like a macabre piece of play dough. It was surprisingly soothing.

"Goddess, what are you...ugh, give me that!"

Tai reached for the piece of picanha, but instinct kicked in. Mara's racing heart slowed down, and she rolled her lips up, growling. Tai jumped back when Mara tried to bite them.

Her jaw snapped in the air.

Mara's eyes widened as much as Tai's. She stepped backward, and the piece of meat almost slipped from her fingers; she fumbled with it and said,

"Mara doesn't share food!" She let out a weak laugh. "Or something like that. Saw it on TV."

Tai stared, but Mara couldn't sustain their gaze. Goddess, this whole exchange made her skin crawl.