Unhappy world

I am Joan (my pseudonym). I was born into a family that never made me feel like their son. Sadness was always a title in that house. But I was happy. I didn't feel incomplete. On the contrary, I was happy. I always laughed and joked with my friends, but my family was not the best family for me. But I used to say, “The Lord chose me to be here.” As the days passed, I began to grow older and began to feel frustrated, hopeless, and depressed. I hated my family and wanted to commit suicide many times, but I could not. Until I was 15 years old, all my hidden feelings exploded. I lost all my friends. I talk to someone again to the point that I forgot how to talk to people, I became afraid to express my opinion, I hated myself and those around me, I got tired of life until I met a person who changed my life forever, he is my best friend now, his name is (in fact, I don't like to say his name, I think he is Distinguished by this, I keep his name and do not tell him to anyone) He introduced me to the meaning of life, he made me laugh after a long depression, I clung to him so much that I dream of him every night, I am happy when I am with him, for he is the light that the Lord sent to brighten my darkness...