'Cause I'd Find You In Any World (Nick and Charlie - Alternate Universe)

Chapter Twenty Five

Chapter Twenty Five.

Nick:
As soon as I said those words, I instantly wanted to take them back. Not because I don't love Charlie, I do. I know it's fast but I know that I love him. I just wish I didn't say it today, after the day he has had. I take my forehead off of his and feel my cheeks getting warm because of how embarrassed I am.

"I'm sorry. I feel like it wasn't appropriate to tell you that right now. You have all this stuff going on with your Mum, this is your first relationship and I do not want to overwhelm you. You don't have to say anything. I'm sorry, it really just slipped out."

Charlie is silent for what feels like hours, even though I know it hasn't even been a minute. 

"Can we just pretend like I didn't say that?" I whisper.
"Do you regret it?" 
"Absolutely not. I just maybe, regret the timing of which I let it stupidly escape my lips."
"Then no, we can definitely not pretend you didn't say it," he says as he presses his lips against mine.

I pull away from the kiss and feel more relieved. I don't need Charlie to say it back; I'm just happy I didn't scare him off by saying how I felt.

"Again, you don't have to say it back. I just wanted you to know how I'm feeling and that I'm not going anywhere."
"It's not that I don't, I definitely think... it's just been a long day and I want just want to be in the right mind set before I say something that huge.  Today has been really heavy for me."

I place my hands on his.

"Really, don't worry about it. Don't give it a second thought. I'm not going anywhere, Charlie."

He looks up at me and smiles.

"How did I get so lucky with you?"
"James. Definitely James," I say while laughing.

Charlie laughs as well.

"That's definitely true. I don't think any of this would have happened without him."
"Yeah, he's pretty great," I say.
"Okay Nick, don't get any ideas. He's straight, ya know," Charlie teases.

I laugh and lightly push him.

"Haha, very funny. I only have eyes for one guy," I say as I look into his eyes.

I see his cheeks turn red and he smiles.

"Me too."

Charlie doesn't need to tell me that he loves me. I feel it in the sincerity in which he speaks to me. I feel it in the kisses we share, when he looks me in my eyes. It's the best and most real thing I have ever felt.

Charlie:
We head back into the living room and lay down. I can tell that Nick has fallen asleep but I've never felt more awake. Of course, as soon as Nick told me he loved me, I obviously wanted to say it back, but naturally my anxiety took over. Did I want to say it because I was emotional? Did I want to say it because I lost someone I loved today and thought this would fix it? Do I even know what love is? A little over two months ago, I never even thought I'd be in a relationship. Is there a timeline on knowing when you love someone? I just want to be sure in my feelings because I never want to hurt Nick. I feel like things are moving so quickly but at the same time, I'm not overwhelmed by it; I actually feel complete calmness about it. Like, this is where I'm suppose to be and Nick is who I'm suppose to be with. These last two months, I have felt more alive and more me than I have ever felt. James sees it, Mia sees it, even my Dad sees it. Most importantly, I see it. Nick has changed everything for me in the most amazing ways. Of course I love him. I want to be around him all the time, I miss him as soon as he's gone. He makes me blush, he makes me feel safer than I've ever felt. He's my boyfriend and my best friend. Well, one of my best friends. God forbid James ever heard me call someone other than him my best friend he would lose it. Nick makes me feel like I can take on the whole world. I mean, before I met him, I was completely content not coming out until I was out of my house, the fear was too high. That fear dissipated more and more each day I spent with him, even before we started to date. I snuggle up into Nick's arms and he squeezes me.

"Are you still awake?" He whispers.
"You want to go watch the sun rise in the backyard?" I ask.

Nick nods his head and we take our blankets and go sit outside in the backyard. We're not saying anything, just watching the sun peer over the trees. I see the way the light highlights Nick's cheeks and all the freckles that he has. He smiles at the warmth of the sun hitting him. And just like that, the memories of the night before aren't feeling as heavy. It's still there, but I know Nick will always be in my corner. This is what happiness is.

"I love you too, by the way."

Nick sits up and faces me.

"What did you say?"
"Are you going to make me say it again?"

He nods.

"I just want to make sure I heard you correctly and that you are sure in what I think you said."

I shake my head and smile at him.

"I said, I love you too, by the way."

I see a smile form on Nick's face, although he still looks unsure.

"Are you sure? You don't need to say it because I did, I told you that. You had a big night yesterday --"
"Nick, I don't disagree with you. I know I had a crazy night yesterday. That's why when you told me I didn't say it back right away. I took the rest of the night to really think about everything and sort through my feelings. I wanted to say it as soon as you said it to me, but also wanted to be sure that this is what I felt because I would never want to tell you something that wasn't true. But as I was laying in your arms, I felt this calmness, this stillness; this complete happiness. I know that I may not have much or really any experience when it comes to these kind of things but I know how you make me feel. I know that I love you. You are quite literally the most amazing person I ever met. You are my boyfriend and my best friend, and I just know it. I love you."

Nick crashes his lips into mine as he wraps his arms around me and suddenly, I am home.

"You know if James ever heard you call me your best friend --"
"He'd kill me, I know."
"It'll be our secret."
"You and James are both my best friends," I say.

I snuggle back up into his arms as he laughs.

"Sure he is," he teases.