cinema [h.s.]

chapter twenty.

"No." I sigh, placing my hands over Harry's that we're currently wrapped around my stomach. "Ivy is staying with her. I'm kind of nervous but I know she'll be okay."

"She'll be okay." Harry assures me. "She's brave like her mumma and if she gets scared I'll go pick her up." He kisses my cheek and I smile, nodding against his shoulder.

Ivy and Leah come running into the kitchen giggling, crashing into Harry and I with two of his baseball caps on.

"Hi Harry!" Leah smiles. Harry looks down at her and chuckles. The hats are way too big on them.

"Hi Leah!" He responds, tightening his hold on me. "Nice hat!" Leah giggles, tipping the hat up as it slides down over her eyes.

"Look mommy!" Ivy squeals, getting my attention. "I'm da-best friend!"

My heart fully stops. Ivy almost called Harry daddy.

I feel my entire body tense up. Harry doesn't notice it though, he's too focused on having a conversation with Leah who was telling him all about how she got a tutu for her birthday.

I smile down at Ivy, gulping and removing myself from Harry's hold. He frowns, looking at me in concern but I shake my head and send him a small smile.

I wasn't expecting that word to come out of her mouth for a very long time. Neither did Ivy apparently, because she stopped herself before she finished the word.

I tune out everything around me, barely hearing Harry when he says to the girls "Why don't you two go play in the room for a bit."

Tears threaten to fall from my eyes and I turn away from Harry. I never thought I'd get this emotional over my daughter finally having a man in her life that she looked at as her father.

But here I am.

I take a deep breath to try and compose myself, jumping slightly when I feel a strong pair of hands wrap around me, making me feel safe.

"What's wrong." Harry says softly, his chin sitting on the top of my head as I swallow back tears.

"Nothing." I lie, shaking my head as Harry tries to turn me around to face him. "I'm fine."

"You're not fine." He responds, I can hear the slight panic in his tone and finally get the courage to face him.

"I'm just in my head a bit." I smile softly, trying to convince him that I'm okay so he'll leave me alone. "I am A okay."

I need space.

I need to breathe.

"I can sense you want to be alone." Harry sighs, pulling away from me. "Just come get me when you want to talk ." He walks away, heading to Ivy's bedroom, leaving me all alone.

I cant help but feel a bit guilty for shutting Harry out the way I did, but I'm not ready to talk to about how I'm feeling.

When I was with Ashton, I was convinced I was going to marry him. I pictured a life with him.

A life where we were happy and we had beautiful children.

Then he left. He left me and our unborn baby. A baby I didn't find out about until two weeks after we broke up.

I didn't get to tell him I was pregnant In a cute way. I didn't get to celebrate any milestone with him. I was completely in it alone.

I watched Ivy grow up thinking I'd never have to worry about her asking about her dad because she wouldn't know what one was.

I was wrong.

I thought it would just be her and I for life, and for three years it was. For three years, it was just me and her. And then Harry came into the picture.