Affinity in the Ether (Ethereal Series #1)

PROLOGUE

"Eirene, okay ka lang? Parang nababaliw ka na d'yan- kanina ka pa bumubulong."

Napabuntong hininga ako at tulalang nakatingin sa screen ng desktop, impatiently tapping my fingers on the table. Crumbled papers and all kinds of pens were scattered everywhere on my desk. I was on my fifth cup of coffee for the day. For sure mukhang haggard ako,

I've been sitting on my office chair for about five hours now and so far no ideas were coming up in my mind. What am I gonna do now? I was running out of motivation, burned out, and drained.

Ignoring her question, I ran my fingers through my hair out of frustration. Bulong ko, "Shit, ano na?"

"Hey, everything okay? I can takeover for you if pagod ka na," nag-aalalang sabi sa akin ng co-worker ko, si Mariss, sa kabilang table. She was always an ever-pessimistic person. Always worries, too soft sometimes. I could never be like her.

Kaming dalawa nalang ang naiwan pa sa office, working overtime.

"Yeah I'm good," pilit ang ngiti ko, "okay lang, 'di ako pagod. Just out of ideas. That's all."

With little energy left, I started to clean up my desk. Throwing away my empty coffee cups and scratch papers in the trash can under my table.

Ever since this morning I was more moody than usual. Wala akong energy para bumangon, hindi ako makakain, at chineck ko ang calendar hindi ko pa naman time of the month. My mind can't focus and I can feel my head pounding.

Pinanood ako ni Iris mag-ayos, "Nakatulog ka ba?"

"Bakit? Mabigat na ba ang eyebags?" pabirong tanong ko. Trying to lighten up the mood.

Nakita ko siya nag-aalinlangan, seryoso ang mukha. Halatang hindi natuwa sa joke ko. Tinikom niya ang kaniyang labi at diretsong tumingin sa aking mga mata,

"Are the nightmares coming back?"

Napatigil ang aking kilos, hawak ang mga papel na ilalagay ko dapat sa folder. Looking from the corner of my eye I see her observing me. Watching my actions to see if anything was wrong. Lumunok ng malalim, sagot ko,

"No. I'm alright."

Liar.

You're lying to everyone around you. Most importantly, yourself. You can't please everybody. No matter how much you try, they all leave. You're on your own. A truth I learned from childhood. People don't want to see your imperfections. They won't love you if you're not perfect. They can't accept it.

Because who wants to love somebody damaged?

Only a few people know about my occurring nightmares. The nightmares I lived as a child, now left for me to dream in my sleep. Every night I always suffer in silence. An ugly scar that I can't fix. It never changed.

But that was until him. Everything changed.

He was always there, every time. He knew everything- I told him everything. Lahat ng totoong nararamdaman ko, sa kaniya ko sinabi ang lahat. Sa kaniya ko pinakita ang totoong sarili ko. The one everyone doesn't know exists,

He once knew everything. And now... he knows nothing.

Patuloy parin ang pag-aalala ni Mariss, hindi naniwala sa sinabi ko, "Okay- pero pag may nararamdaman ka sabihin mo lang sa'kin, ha?"

I hate it. I hate it when people see me weak, see me at my worst. The pity in their eyes- I hate that the most,

Ngumiti nalang ako sa kaniya at nagbigay pa ng thumbs-up para hindi na siya mag kuwestiyon, "Yes bossing."

Sa pagkasabi ko, bumalik narin siya sa kaniyang trabaho. Nung hindi na nakatingin, huminga ako ng malalim- calming myself down, at bumalik na rin sa ginagawa ko. Pagkatapos kong magligpit, pinilit ko ang sarili kong magtrabaho muli,

Great, one more thing to worry about. Kailangan ko nang mag-isip ng idea kung hindi, wala akong mapublish for this month's post. Being someone who always had high standards and a perfectionist, ayaw ko lang ng basta-basta, I want everything to be exactly thorough and perfect. I guess my lack of sleep was finally catching up to me,

Like an idiot, I sat still on my chair and stared at the blank page in my notebook. Like it's gonna give me a damn answer. That was until may pumasok na officemate ko,

"Eirene! Si boss may papagawa sayo," sigaw niya sa may pinto.

Desperate for an idea and wala naman akong choice, nag-agree agada ako, "Sige, ano 'yon?"

"May i-interviewhin ka daw. Some bigshot guy galing Germany na babalik dito."

"Do you know when?" tanong ko,

Bihira nalang ang mga nagpapainterview ngayon. Kung hindi ka artista, mostly walang pake ang mga tao sa'yo. In journalism, even the most mundane things, you have to make them sound interesting. It makes the readers engage with what you write. Makes them want more.

"Ah, next week pa naman."

Nirelax ko ang aking mga balikat. May isang linggo pa. Hinigop ko kung ano man ang natira sa kape kanina, umirap lang ako dahil lumamig na. Thank God I still have time to prepare,

Taking a sip, I questioned, "And anong papagawa exactly?"

"Sabi lang sa'kin, his team will be conducting programs sa iba't-ibang schools- physics programs to be specific. Para kung sakali may interesado, may marecruit sila," he explained to me.

"Engineer?"

He shook his head, "Hindi. Astrophysicist. Ang gagawin mo daw ay interview at documentary. They need the publicity to engage more students."

"Mm, sino s'ya?" I started to list down all the information he told me, taking another sip of coffee.

"Mr. Novasco. His name is Callisto Novasco."

Biglang nabulunan ako.

"Ay puke ng kalabaw- Eirene!"

Pumunta agad si Mariss sa tabi ko at mahinang pinapalo ang aking likuran, trying to calm down my excessive coughing. After a few deep breaths I finally stopped choking, pero yung isip ko parang nabulunan parin. Nagka short-circuit.

I thought sa States siya nagtratrabaho, why is he in Germany? Most importantly... babalik s'ya?

I can't believe it- no way in hell he's coming back now. After all those years of trying to forget him, magpapakita siya ulit. Kung kailan tanggap ko na ang lahat, bigla s'yang magpaparamdam.

Kaya ko ba s'yang harapin?

Ako ang dahilan kung bakit napalayo siya sa akin. Pinilit ko s'yang lumayo.

After everything that we've been through...

But there's no turning back now. This is my career, the profession that I've been trying to reach all those years ago. The challenges I faced- my family rejecting me. I did everything on my own. Now that I have it, I'm not going to waste this chance. I've already agreed and I can't turn down an offer. No matter the consequences,

Even if it means I have to face him.

"What in the actual fuck," I whispered to myself, still in disbelief.

He really is coming back.

Pagkatapos ng limang taon, magkikita muli tayo,

Mr. Novasco.

Somewhere...

"Bist du sicher, dass du gehen wirst, Callisto?"

"Ja, da bin ich mir sicher."

I'll see you soon.