Bellamy's final chapter. Happy reading chummies!!
The next morning, Clarke and I get up and go to work. The recruits are getting better and stronger everyday, but they need to learn discipline. Samuel, one of the youngest, makes snide comments and keeps breaking the rules at every opportunity. Sometimes I honestly think that this will never work they take too long to conform to the rules and this way of life. If they never learn these things, how could I ever trust them with the lives of everyone in this camp. In the corner of my eye, I see Samuel push a little kid in front of the firing range, and I snap. Stomping over I grab him by the scruff and throw him to the ground.
"What makes you think you have the right to push others around like that?" I shout in his face. At first he looks shocked, but then he smiles at me menacingly.
"You did, when you first got down here. Telling everyone what to do. We aren't that different you and me. But at least I dont have blood on my hands. How many was it? 18 dead out of 100?", he spits. I'm taken aback. Am I still the same monster I was? I stare where Sam just lay, a battle between past and present raging in my head. Thankfully, Lincoln steps in.
"Sam! 20 laps now". The scrawny boy huffs and then sprints off.
"You okay man?" Lincoln asks shaking me from my daze.
"Uh-yeah, course", I shake him off.
Sam doesn't return to training that night and I hope he never comes back. Lincoln ends up taking over because my heads all over the place. I know it shouldn't affect me, but that's stupids kids comments never leave my mind. Will my past affect my future? Has earth changed me at all or am I still the obnoxious, self centred jerk I was. Scanning camp, I look to see if anything has changed. Come to think of it, nothing really has. I hold a lot of power and according to Sam, I definately still push everyone around. And the blood on my hands only keeps increasing. Guess nothing has changed.
Giggles and cheers of 'Dada' catch my attention. Waddling over on her chubby little legs is Lottie, with Clarke not far behind. Princess carries Jake, who is sleeping, again. Once she's in arms reach, I grab and toss Lottie in the air. The toddler erupts into another fit of laughter and giggles.
"Heyy little one, how's your day been?" As she still can't talk, she just murmurs and gurgles.
"What about you princess?" I whisper, as not to wake our son.
"Stressful, but a lot better now I've seen you", I smile at the remark. Seeing my family helps me in more ways than one.
I take another look around camp. People may still follow my orders, but now its out of respect and not fear. I may have blood on my hands, but most of it came from trying to save others. We've all had to do things we don't like to survive. Just like I told Clarke, who we are and who we need to be to survive are very different things.
In this moment, surrounded by my family and with the sun setting before my eyes, I Bellamy Blake, think I finally make peace with myself. No matter what I did in the past or how many lives I've taken, seeing the life and peace I've created for others makes me happy. I must have done something right.
Sorry its late, please don't hate me. I really enjoyed writing this chapter. Tomorrow will be the last chapter in this story. :(
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