I give up. |Tommyinnit angst|

19

tws in desc

barely any angst.

not proof read D:

Tommy's pov:

I wake up, and look around the room, I then remember the events of last night, and remember why i'm in tubbo's room.

I sigh and get up, trying to not wake up tubbo, by moving off the bed. I've had my down and ups. All the sudden i' m happy and have the passion to live, but then one moment im not, and it all come back like a huge wave, knocking me over. I walk out the room, into the kitchen, where I see everyone there.

"where were you?" wilbur asks me.

"mm, Tubbo's room." I reply, they all exchange each other a look.

"well, were making waffles!" Phil replies opening the waffle presser thing up, revealing a waffle. I look at wil.

"Erm... I dont really like waffles." I say making up a excuse.

"oh I can make you a smoothie or something?" wilbur says. I mean it 'healthy' it's better than waffles... I try to swallow the gag thats coming up my throat from the strong smell of waffles.

"okay thanks..." I say.

"when do we leave again?" I ask.

"after were done eating!" phil replies.

"oh im going to go wake up tubbo then." I say, walking to tubbos room. I get to his side of the bed that hes on, and violently shake him, awake.

"TUBBS WAKE UP!" I say.

"huhh?" he says opening his eyes, and rubbing them adjusting to he light.

"there making breakfast, and were leaving soon! SO GET UP!" I say, letting go of him.

WHEN ITS TIME TO LEAVE ( THEY ALREADY PACKED IM TO LAZY SO LIKE... YES.)

we leave and I cant help but feel a bit sad. I live 3-4 hours from tubbo... I get in the car and we head back to the air bnb.

WHEN THEY ARIVE AT DA' AIRBNB

we walk inside and I ask,

"can we just lay around for the rest of the day?" I say, they all agree. I walk to my room and flop on my bed. I sit alone, in my thoughts.

They only invited me so the fans can get there stupid SBI moments. They dont actually want me here, no one does.

It hits me suddenly.

No one really cares! Whats even the point of my life? I have nothing to look forward to, no goals in life, i'm just stalling at this point. Im basically bound, to kms.

I'm going to kill my self on Sunday. I have decided. Well if i'm being honest I already was going to, since wednesday. I need to make the most out of today and tomorrow, there my last days, I'll start making the letters later, I already have the pills. (DONT ASK HOW TOMMY GOT EM'... HE JUST HAS THEM ALRIGHT...?!) I drift off into a 'nap'

"wilbur? Tubbo?" I say

"your so fat and ugly." Tubbo says

"your so useless. Lose some weight you pig."

"w-wil?" I say they fade away, and I see phil, techno and ranboo.

"kys. Theres no point in living!" Ranboo says. Phil and techno just insulting me. I jump awake, sweating a bit. I get up and go to wilbur, phil and techno who are all in the living room. I just grab the remote sitting at the end of the couch, I say nothing just turn on the movie 'up' my favourite movie. They say nothing, and just watch the movie.

Wilburs pov :

Were halfway into the movie and (i stayed up from 11 am to 6 am MEANING I DIDNT SLEEP WRITING THIS to be fair i had breaks.) I feel a light weight on my shoulder, I look and its Tommy. He looks so tired, so I don't bother to try and wake him up.

LATER...

I wake tommy up for lunch, and we all made our own things so I gave tommy apple slices.

Tommys pov :

I groan when wilbur slides a plate of apple slices in front of me, I already ate today, I dont feel like eating again. Well I dont feel like eating ever. But still... I eat 4/8 or a half of the apples, and I go to purge, but I get stopped AGAIN, by none other than wilbur! I somehow slip out his grasp and run upstairs to the bathroom, I quickly open the toliet and throw it all up, I let out a sigh of relief and get up to leave, bu I see wilbur looking at me in the doorway. oh... Did I make him disappointed in me?...

"s-sorry?" I say, sounding more like a question though. He sighs, and says,

"dont make me ban you from the bathroom." he jokes, I let out a small laugh.

"im not having supper. But can all of us do something fun, I know I said I wanted to relax, but I changed my mind." I say,

"what do you have in mind?"

"erm... Maybe we could play like just dance, like just fun stuff!" I say, I have to make the most out of these days, I have to try to not have a panic attack, or cut, I have to try to be happy, well. At least for today and tomorrow.

"oh sure!" he replies.

summary of the family time :

We played just dance 2015, we watch some movies, me and wilbur sang our heart outs to hamilton, whilst phil and techno sit there laughing there arses off. We played charades, techno won, surprisingly. We played a lot of games, and that was basically it. Then I headed upstairs and said I was going to sleep, we all headed our ways, (to our rooms) I'll do the letters tomorrow.