im tired.
im tired.
not proof read!
tommys pov still :
I wake up. I see wilbur still in bed. I roll around.
1000 thoughts at once.
What have I done, is 900 of them. (partly from solitaire)
I remember what happened yesterday, and I feel instantly drained, it's going to be so awkward with tubbo today, we also have a vlog to film today... I sigh. I get up and go to the side of the bed that wilburs sleeping on, I stare at him. He slowly opens his eyes, im guessing due to the feeling that someone was watching him.
"boo bitch." I say, he jumps and screams, I laugh my arse off, him shortly after, joining in.
"GET UP WE HAVE A VLOG TO DO BIG MAN!" I say wooping him in the face-softly- with a pillow. (i just remembered about the bruises and that he has to cover them up... erm... about that... ThEY UH FADED YK.. MAKE UP WHAT YOU WANT TO FOR THAT PART LOL?)
"JEEZ..." he says hopping out of bed.
"Im wearing this cause, I want to." I state, still wearing his hoodie, i'll throw a pair of joggers on.
AFTER GETTING READY AND SHIT.
"wilbur, I think i'm just going to spend most my day in here, you know to avoid seeing tubbo." He nods.
"what d'you want for breakfast?"
"no." I simply reply.
"ok i'll just make something myself then, cut apples, and a sandwich since its already 1:00 pm..." he says, I sigh.
"okay..."I say, I follow him downstairs , since tubbo probably wouldnt like it, if I ate in here.
"morningGgGg!" techno says.
"morning" I reply.
"morning mate!" phil says
I reply with the same thing I did techno.
"morning" wilbur walks into the kitchen, phil and techno are on the couch, I follow wilbur into the kitchen, seeing ranboo and tubbo.
"erm.. wil just tell me when its ready." I say walking out the room, towards 'our' room
I cant really remember when Ranboo and tubbo became, tubbo and ranboo. I dont really know how they became like super close friends or when it happened. (solitaire againnnn)
A few minutes later I hear wil call out to me. I walk downstairs, to the kitchen. tubbo and ranboo, are at the dining table, so I sit at the island.
"thanks..." I mutter. I start slowly- eating, when I finish, I get up. Nope. Nope. Nope, Im not letting this sit in my stomach. My stomach hurts very bad, due to all the sudden eating. I get up to go purge, but get stopped by wilbur, he whispers to me
"no purging." I roll my eyes.
"whens the vlog again?" I ask, walking into the living room where phil and techno are.
"in 30 mintues, techno will be filming since he dosent want to be in the video." We were going to do a obstacle course, phil would just be on the side, like a parent, making sure were safe, but he was still going to be in the video, so it was mainly, me, tubbo, ranboo, and wilbur. Okay.
VLOG TIMEEE
after a horrible car ride, I was squeezing the shit, out of wilbur's hand. Tubbo said nothing to me so far. Thats okay.
Its really not though...
I feel bad. What do I do. What the fuck am I supposed to do. Is he mad? Upset? I cant fucking tell how he feels. Ranboo sits next to wil so Tubbo is as far as he can be from me.
WHEN THE ARRIVE :
"you and tubbo are going to have to talk to eachother, at least during this vlog." Phil says. Tubbo looks at me, I dont look at him, I just look at wil. We dont have to talk to eachother.
"well... I mean- we dont have, to." Tubbo says, it feels like someone has just stabbed me in the heart. Why did that hurt?...
"cmon let go to the obstacale." I say running towards the first obstacale. All them having no choice, but to follow. Techno starts filming.
AFTER THE VLOG :
Tubbo and I havent talked, I dont mind. We leave tomorrow morning. So if he dosent talk to me I could care less... mhm...
The rest of the night was shit. I sat in my room all night. Eventually falling asleep.
I wake up, and check the time. '2:28 a.m.' I look over to wilbur, hes asleep. I get up and go to the kitchen to get a glass of water. when the waters in my cup, I slide down the cupboards and think. "whats next?" I take another sip. I drown in my thoughts. I suddenly start crying, I lost, tubbo he hates me because I was being selfish and cut myself. I see someone walk in the kitchen.
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im tired.
741 - words, posting a chapter tmrrw.
YOU ARE READING
I give up. |Tommyinnit angst|
Fanfictionthis book was meant to be me just giving up on writing but yk I had to turn it into a book lmao !TW!//SH/ED/ABUSE/ANXIETY/OVERTHINKING/PANIC ATTACKS/SELF HATRED/SWEARING/VOMITING/SUICIDAL THOUGHTS// THERE WON'T BE A WARNING AT THE TOP OF EACH PAGE...
