If you can’t get this through your mind, I’ve already failed. While a good body is good, you need to wear the right clothing to compliment it! If a girl with a gorgeous body wore oversized t-shirts and baggy jeans everyday, society won’t take too kindly to her. And if you can’t find anything to compliment your body (hopefully the one achieved by D and E), go for the designer names. Anything with a designer name will impress anyone. Louis Vouton, Vera Wang, Coco Chanel, Prada, Pink, Coach, even Vera Bradley will show your prestige. Just tell someone the designer and even if you’re wearing a paper bag, if it’s Chanel, you’re fine. It doesn’t have to be the most flattering piece on this earth, but it will do.
If you don’t have the perfect body, (because you obviously haven’t put my perfectly good advice to use) designer names will help with that! Society smiles upon the obese that shop at Pink instead of Target or Walmart. And if you can’t afford them, stop wasting money on food to buy the clothes. I mean, if you’re obese, it’s obviously that you eat way too much. If you go on a diet, (see letter D) you’ll be skinny and pretty in no time! Plus, you can use the money you save on food for the designer names too! See? You can apply previous chapters so easily to others!
But if you really can’t buy designer name clothing and accessories, you can make up for that by dressing like a streetwalker. That way the opposite gender won’t notice your lack of a Coach purse and Vera Wang outfit.
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The ABCs of Self DiscoveryHumor
Are you miserably lost and don't know who you are? Then you've failed. Read this and stop being such a failure. Don't worry, I'm sure even with your literacy level, even you can understand this. If you're not offended by the end, I have failed. Then...