A Storm Is Brewing

I Can Only Be Me

"Hi Mum." I smiled.
"Hi Sophie." Mum's eyes were still fixated on Leah.
"This is Leah; Leah, this is my mum." I turned to smile at Leah.
"Hi, it's lovely to meet you." Leah said politely.
"And you, I've heard a lot about you." My mum smiled back.

Without knowing her, this smile would be mistaken for a polite, welcoming smile. I did know her, though, and I knew that she was already coming up with reasons to disapprove of Leah in her head. I sighed quietly, taking a seat on the sofa and gesturing for Leah to sit beside me. Leah's body was tense, and I could tell that she didn't know how to act in front of my mum. I placed my arm around her back and gently traced circles on her back, feeling her relax at my touch. Dad brought tea and biscuits, affectionately rubbing Leah's back as he greeted her.

After hearing stories about Mum's time in Dubai, Dad's latest favourite car, and waving Olivia off early with Rhys, we finally left in separate cars to travel to the theatre. Mum, Dad, my aunt Breda, and uncle Jonathan travelled together, which meant that Leah and I would travel together in a separate car that Dad owned. Mum had ignored Leah almost the entire time; it was really starting to wind me up. As I got into the driver's seat, I slammed the door closed behind me, struggling to hold back the anger that I could feel rising from my toes to my head. I felt Leah's hand stop me from starting the engine, pulling me towards her. She gently wrapped me in her arms, my head falling into her chest, her hands moving to my hair, fingers tracing through it.

"Tonight's about Liv, Soph. Remember?"
"She's making it about you, though. She's making it awkward and uncomfortable for you."
"Oh, Soph, you're so silly."
"How?" I gazed up at her, my anger subsiding at the sight of her eyes.
"You're here; I could never feel awkward or uncomfortable when I knew you were beside me."
"I hate it. Why can't she just be fine with it? It's not 50 years ago. It's not weird or dirty, to fall in love. Why does she think it is?" I ranted.
"Some people just don't understand love unless it's between a man and a woman. That's on them, not you or me. It doesn't matter what they think; it matters that we accept ourselves for who we are and surround ourselves with others that do too." Leah's words echoed around my head.
"You and me against the world?" I quoted her.
"Always, Soph." She smiled.

We eventually drove to the show, proudly cheering Olivia on, ignoring the tension that lay between the group. We headed back to Dad's, with Olivia demanding that she travel with Leah and me so she could give us a rundown of the play we had just watched. Leah sat in the back with Olivia, and I kept watching them in the interior mirror. I wondered if Leah hoped to have her own children someday. That's something we probably should've discussed properly.

We continued our false family bravado for another while; a few of the other parents and children joined, meaning Olivia was playing host to the youngsters in her bedroom. By 8 p.m., only my parents, Rhys, Tanya (Olivia's best friend's mum), Leah, and I were left. Tanya began talking about a news article that she had read in the Sunday World about loyalist paramilitaries that had gunned a man down for drug dealing. My mum immediately shot a glance in my direction; my face dropped as I realised what she was about to do.

"Remember when you defended that man, Sophie? What was his name, Colin? Colin Coyle. Did you know about this, Leah? A murderer he was." Mum said it as if she wasn't trying to break up our relationship.
"That was an accident, Mum. I didn't know he was guilty." I sighed.
"Och, c'mon. You spent hours with him; of course you would've known." She bit back.
"It is actually possible for someone to tell convincing lies. Like you did when you told all your friends you loved me unconditionally." I sniped.
"Grow up, Sophie. Leah, you seem very quiet; you didn't realise she defended murderers, I'm guessing?"

I could feel my blood begin to boil. How dare she do this? If Leah hadn't known, Mum would have known that this statement could end our relationship. She knew that Colin Coyle had impacted me in a way that could never be mended; she watched me fall apart in Dubai while it was unfolding in front of my eyes. I felt Leah mirror what I had done to comfort her earlier; her fingers traced gentle circles on my back as she spoke.