23. No Boundaries

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"And what are you planning on doing now?" I asked, wanting to know exactly why he came back. I crossed all my fingers, hoping he would stay here and give us a second chance. But I tried to not show him that that's what I wanted, which is why I didn't say 'I love you' back.

"I'm going back to New York soon, finishing my degree. And after that ... I'm going to San Francisco, I got a job offer there."

Hopes crashed. "San Francisco?" I asked, raising an eyebrow.

"I know, I would have never thought that would happen either. But I have to say that I never even tried to give it a thought and..." Adam explained but I interrupted him.

"So you're saying that you came back for me, you tell me you still love me, just to leave me again?" I asked.

"I came back to talk to you and sort things out-"

"Yeah right." I sighed and got up. Ugh, that situation was so ridiculous again. "I think you have to go now..." I said, not wanting to talk to him right now. I just couldn't believe that he came back after so many weeks, just when I thought I might be over him, telling me he still loves me. "...I have a lot of homework to do."

It took Adam a second until he actually got up, realizing that I was serious and I didn't want him here right now. But in my surprise, he didn't show any intention of leaving.

"No." He said, staring at me.

"Adam, I'm serious, I want you to g-" I started but got interrupted when he took my face with his hands and smashed his lips against mine. For a second he was the only one moving, I didn't move at all. Until I pushed him away, taking my breath.

Then we just stared at each other, his hands still on my cheeks. I couldn't do that. No, he made me want him even more and I knew now that he was going to leave. But the heart wants what it wants, right? And shortly after that, I was the one moving forward.

We both immediately were on one level and our lips fit together better than ever.

I knew it was one of the biggest mistakes I could have ever done since it would be so much harder to let him go again after that, but I had the chance and I just had to take it. But what if I would never see him again after he would leave?

Kissing him made me realize how bad I actually have missed him. I could never be without him anymore.

We sat back down on the couch, I sat on his lap with my hands on his neck and his hands on my hips, deepening the kiss even more, trying to make sure if this is really happening right now. When our tongues met and he moved his hands underneath my shirt, I finally realized that I wasn't dreaming and that he was really with me again.

Not permanently though.

Sauli, you need to stop now. You're just making it harder for yourself. My mind was literally screaming at me, wanted me to stop, which is what I did.

"Adam-" I said, taking my breath. And then I just said what was on my mind. "Please, we could make it work this time. Give us a second chance, it's all I want." I begged, stroking him over his cheek. It wasn't clever at all to sit here and beg for him being with me again, but I just wanted him more than anything in this world.

"We can't, Sauli." He shook his head. "I mean, I'm leaving in a few days again and-"

"Then why are you doing this?" I interrupted him and got up. "Why do you come back, tell me you love me, kiss me and then tell me it wouldn't work out anyway?"

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