We walked home closely together, our hands almost touching as my fingers hesitantly reached out to his. He pulled back.
"What are you doing?" He quietly asked in confusion, a glint of naivety in his emerald eyes. I shook my head, nervously clearing my throat.
"N-Nothing." I spluttered in embarrassment. Why did I try to hold his hand? Why the hell did I think he'd actually let me?
"Were you trying to hold my hand?" He inquired curiously.
My face turned crimson red. "Sort of."
He went silent for a while as he tried to register my words. His head tilted slightly, his eyebrows furrowing. "...Why?"
"I'm sorry." I breathed anxiously.
"No... I mean... Why did you go to hold my hand?" He asked once more, making this painfully difficult for me to answer. I don't know, maybe because I like how soft your skin is, and it also makes me feel like we belong to each other?
"I don't know." I answered lowly.
"I'm the worst person to hug or hold hands with," He laughed, as if it meant nothing to me. It did. "I'm shit at showing care, physically."
"So... You don't like holding hands?"
"The only person I've ever held hands with is my mum. I don't know." He shut me out.
I still wanted to try. "Do you want to...?"
He glanced his surroundings, and awkwardly shook his head. "Uh-"
I interrupted him as I grasped his hand, and immediately intertwined his fingers with mine. He gasped, his stiff nature slowly relaxing into our hold. "Okay, then."
We walked silently, my mind full of questions but only allowing one to escape. "Are we boyfriend and girlfriend?"
He didn't reply, or so I thought. I wondered if he even heard me, because he didn't speak. Not until I began to tug my hand away from his, but he kept the, close together. "How about we don't label us? We do our own thing."
"So, that's a no." I widened my eyes.
"Do you want me to be your boyfriend?" He inquired.
"Of course I want you to be my boyfriend. Why wouldn't I?" I responded in defence, but then my paranoia began to arise in discomfort. "Do you want me to be your girlfriend?"
Again, he didn't speak until he finally came to a decision. "If you weren't my foster sister, I'd like you to be with me, yes."
"How long am I going to be your foster sister?" I grazed my tongue harshly against my teeth in order to inflict some fragment of pain. I still felt anxious.
"Right after our exams. So, in two months." He answered sharply.
"After those two months, will I be your girlfriend then?" I shyly spoke as the pad of his thumb lightly grazed my hand for comfort.
"Harley, I go back to Cheshire in two months."
"You are?" My voice cracked slightly as I tried to form a gentle smile. My fragile, mindless heart suddenly broke.
"I'm gonna get an apartment out there and settle down and maybe, I don't know- get a goldfish." He tried to offer his sense of humour into our situation but I didn't laugh.
"I never even thought about it until now." I whispered morosely.
"What? That I can't be in foster care forever?"
"I thought you'd stay here in Wales." I suggested quietly, but he shook his head.
"There's nothing for me here, there's nothing for anyone here."
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Call Boy. (Harry Styles Fan Fiction) on holdFanfiction
Harley Thomas; an anxiously wrecked Christian who thrives on judging those who sin. Harry Styles; an emotionally wrecked Atheist who thrives on sinning.