Chapter fifty-four

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(Song for this chapter is same room by JP saxe or fragile by kygo and Labrinth)

Empty seats,
red lights,
music blaring so loud I can barely hear my own thoughts,
perfection.

I look at the drink on the table, fuck it.
I gulp it down so the pill can wash down easier, and it does. It always does. They say that you shouldn't mix drugs with alcohol, bullshit. Nothing fucking happens. Maybe I'm just out of luck, maybe even the fucking angel of death doesn't want me.

I wave my hand up and lean my head back as they enter the stage. Swaying hips in red material that can barely be called an outfit, one after one. They're smiling, smirking, grinning. Confidence is dancing in the air as they wrap their legs around different poles and do what they do best.

I blink, its getting harder for each second to keep my eyes open as the effect of the pills start to kick in. I feel every single emotion leave my body, and let my head fall back in satisfaction. I'm on top of the fucking world again, and I'll make sure to take whatever to stay here.

"Baby you're not even looking at us"

I blink again and look at the stage with half lidded eyes. A smirk appears on my face, but the smirk wears off in seconds when the brown hair turns black, and the skin turns olive. I watch as she sways her hips on the pole, her eyes focused on mine, and now they're a bright shade of green.

Fuck, I must be hallucinating.

She's coming closer, and closer. I can barely keep my focus, but I can feel her. The familiar eyes, but the touch doesn't feel the same, not nearly. This one is cold, and unlike the warm one, I feel my body rejecting it.
"Do you like that?" I blink again, Luna doesn't talk like that. She doesn't say things with a tone like that. I blink and blink until Luna isn't standing there anymore. "Get the fuck away from me" I hiss pushing her hand away, and although my vision is blurry, I can still see the shock on her face.

I scoff, telling her to fuck off again and watch as she makes her way back to the stage with less confidence. I'm starting to fall again, so I search desperately after another pill, trashing the table but finding nothing.

"FUCK" I shout, as the glass shatters on my hand. But it doesn't matter, I see another pill.

Just as I'm about to take it, it gets snatched out my fucking hand.
"Salir!" Leave, a familiar voice shouts at the stage. And they fucking leave, who the hell is their boss cause it's certainly not this fucking asshole. "What the fuck are you doing Bruno"

He doesn't answer, and I don't have the energy to form another sentence.

"You've fucking lost it Xander!" I look up at the angry asshole in front of me. He shouldn't even be here right now, his wounds haven't fully healed yet. He woke up from the coma a couple of weeks ago, but his body still needs to heal. His leg is broken, and he can barely walk.

"Why the fuck aren't you in bed" I slur, shaking my head. I didn't notice how much I'm sweating before drops started falling down my forehead, my head feels heavy and there's something in my fucking throat. "you should rest" I breath.

"I'm not fucking resting until you get your shit together Xander, damn it."

I let my head fall back, barely having any control over my body right now. What the fuck does he want me to say? Yes, I've fucking lost it, these past weeks have been the worst weeks of my fucking life. Even the victory against Lorenzo and seeing him behind bars weren't nearly enough satisfaction to fill the fucking void I'm feeling right now. I've kept myself busy with Bruno since we came back, but the second I knew his condition was stable, I could have time to think and fucking hurt.

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