Documentary of My Life

I 🪐

I'm a friendly person, a not so loud mouth person. Before.

But after the pandemic, i noticed a lot of things happened, a lot of changes happened, especially to me, and everyone around me.

Those who i hangout with before, i might label them as one of my friends. But now, i call them acquaintances.

Is it weird? To me, Idk.

I have a definition of acquaintance and a friend is.

A friend is the one I'm comfortable with joking around, being goofy around them even alone.

And Acquaintance is a person that i knew all my life, yet still treat me or i treat them like a stranger/ or I'm quiet when a lot of people / I'm around them.

Tbh, I'm shocked to know that i only have one friend. But I'm still in between "they're my friend to Can i really call them my friend?"

It's a dilemma that I'm always in when I'm alone with my thoughts. Sometimes i just disregard it since i deemed it useless.

But sometimes it gets lonely too, like I have a lot to say but when i tell you that, i feel like a burden and I'm just telling some cringe ass not worthy stories that you're probably not really listening to or comprehending to.

I noticed it now a couple of times that, when i have something that i want to share, they're not at the same level of excitement as I am.

Disappointing yes. Very much. But i guess i don't really have a friend. All of them are just acquaintances.

I accept it now.

I'm looking through their social media and they all have a circle of friends now that i am not involved.

I have known them since i was like 6 yrs old?
No younger than that, but all the memories we have are all too foggy to repair.

But i know to myself that i can be patient.
I can have a circle of my friends as well like them.

-UV 🖋️