What a Catch - Phan

Moving away

"It's okay... But... You said that you didn't love me. I-is that true?" I questioned. I wanted to know; I couldn't go on knowing what he said and not having him confirm the truth. He looked confused for a moment before realising what I was referring to. He looked kind of guilty, but I felt more guilty because I had actually been conscious during that time and hadn't told him.

"No, no of course it's not true. I do love you, I just had to pretend that I didn't to get him to leave you alone. You believe me, right?" He said, before picking my hand up again and kissing it softly. I nodded slowly, still not completely convinced. He smiled slightly.

"Who was he though?" I asked precariously. Dan's face fell.

"He was..." He hesitated, as if trying to come up with an excuse as to why he couldn't tell me, before giving up and sighing. "He is my father..." I froze up, shocked. Dan's father had done... all of this?

"Oh Dan..." I murmured gently and sorrowfully. I cupped his cheek in one of my hands, forcing him to look at me. I didn't exactly know what I was doing. Why was I trusting the person who had betrayed me twice? I didn't know. There was just something about him that made me believe and forgive him. It was kind of annoying, but I wasn't complaining. It felt right. With lack of ideas of what else to do, I kissed him. Out of all of the things that I could have done, why did I kiss him? I could have just hugged him, or dropped my hand, or turned away from him, or - if I was going to kiss him - I could have just kissed his forehead or cheek in a friendly gesture. But I had to kiss him full on didn't I? Stupid, stupid me. I was so confused with my emotions.  Did I like him?  Yes.  Did I love him?  I'm not sure.  Did I hate him?  Definitely not.  Should I hate him?  Probably.  What was I thinking?  I honestly have no idea. 

"Erm... Phil?"  I heard.  I pulled away from Dan and looked over to where the voice came from to find PJ standing awkwardly in the doorway.  I frowned but Dan laughed.

"You kind of ruined the moment." He smirked.

"You don't say." PJ replied, sounding a big smug.  He surveyed the state of the room, which I recognised at Dan's living room.  Surprisingly, he didn't look overly shocked.  Of course he didn't, he had been in here on the way to Dan's room. 

"Is he gone?"  PJ asked nervously.  Dan nodded, biting his lip.  Something told me that he wasn't completely sure, but I brushed it off.  He probably didn't want to say that his dad wasn't here to find that he was waiting just outside.  He wasn't in the house though, and that was good enough for me.

"When will he be back?"  He asked.  Dan shrugged.

"Are you both okay?"

"Yeah." Dan replied, before turning to me, squeezing my hand comfortingly.  My nose was hurting and my side was uncomfortable from where I was leaning on it, but I was no where near as much as Dan had probably been hurting before, so I nodded.

"Right.  Um...  Good...  I'm going to go now...  Leave it to you and all..." PJ said awkwardly, and left. 

Once the door had closed behind him, Dan turned back to me.

"Look, Phil, I'm sorry.  I'm sorry for everything.  I'm sorry I lied to you.  I'm sorry I ran when we were supposed to meet in Starbucks.  I'm sorry about kissing Hannah.  I'm sorry I'm the reason for you harming.  I'm sorry I brought you in to all of this.  I'm sorry that I didn't tell you about my parents.  I'm sorry that I didn't make more of an effort with everything.  You shouldn't be in this position, being hurt by someone who you don't even know.  I'm so sorry... 

I know that you probably hate me.  I know that you should anyway.  After everything that has happened...  I don't expect forgiveness, honestly I don't.  I want to make things up to you, I want to so much.  I don't know when my father will be back, but when he is he is sure to be drunk and be a hell of a lot worse than he was, and he's sure to come after you.  I don't want him to hurt you. You don't deserve the pain. You don't deserve any of this. At all. It's karma for me I guess -"