The Jock, The Nerd and The Geek

23

He watched as she ate, clearly hungry. She didn't try to hide that fact she was, chewing on the slice faster than he was sure she could swallow it.

He wanted to reach out and pat her head, tell her to calm down, but he said nothing, just staring at him.

On her fourth slice, she turned to him, grease over her mouth and fingers. "Oh. Sorry. Are you eating or?"

"You ask this now?"

She frowned. "Right. I shouldn't have asked."

A small chuckle escaped his lips as he pushed away the box and placed the takeout with the chopsticks beside it in front of her. "Enough junk. Here,"

Alex stared at it now, then back at him. "I'm eating both?"

"Alex,"

A smile came to her face now. "Kidding,"

The next few moments, they spent it quietly again, the song still playing in the background. When they were both done eating, she laid her head on his shoulders, her body cuddled next to him.

He had gotten a blanket and put over their bodies because it had gotten cold as soon as it was evening since she hadn't paid the light bill and everywhere stayed dark.

"I play the violin,"

Paris looked down at her. She was still staring at the player. "Hezekiah played the piano, and she played the cello. She would brag about it all the time that we were a musically gifted family. Good times,"

"I'm sorry," He said, "About everything."

"I don't know how I feel about it," She said softly. "I'm not... Mad at her. I think she tried. Everyday. Looking at me reminded her of what she had. And our lives were perfect, Paris. We had everything when we—"

She paused now, her body suddenly tensing. Paris reached out for her hand now. It was cold to his touch, causing him to blow warm air on it.

As he did so, he could tell she was relaxing before she moved closer towards him, sighing, "I feel tired too. Like... I've been running for so long, and now I'm at the end of the road and there's nothing left."

"Of course there is," He said now. "There's school —"

"I don't need school," She cut in. "I never wanted to go to college either," Then she chuckled. "At least, at the beginning. That was until I wanted to make sure I got a degree so I could get a job to take care of her. I had a lot of plans and now... Now, I don't know. It's like waking up from a decade long nightmare and the whole world's moved on without you so you're just... Stuck in the past and you can't... Move."

He rubbed his hand on hers now. There were soft, and long. She kept her nails short, clean. He liked that. He never noticed it before.

Paris had never been with her like this. Holding her. Letting him take care of her like this. It felt like he was paying for his sins, in a way. Never being able to mourn Zephyr right. Or take care of his Mother. "I can't say I understand, Alex. I don't... But— But in a way, you're free now, aren't you? To do what you want?"

She said nothing for a while, her chest rising and falling then asked, "How's he doing?"

Her voice came out in a whisper but he heard and answered, "I haven't seen him in a while. He hasn't— Been in school,"

He wanted to ask why she did that, but he knew how it'd go so he didn't.

He'd try prolonging it a little longer. Enjoy the moment as much as he could.

"Check on him for me?" She asked, looking up at him. "I don't want—"

"And you?" He cut in. In the darkness, he stared at her. Her brown eyes looked soft, her mouth parted slightly.

He had never seen her this close before, and his heart throbbed at the sight. Why did she have to be so beautiful? Why did she have to be like this?

"You take care of everyone but never yourself," He continued, "Even the first time we met, you helped me with your leg problem. Do you remember?"

"It's how I am, I put people first."

"You should start putting yourself."

Her lips pursed at those words, her cheeks puffing slightly as she said, "That is what I am trying to do, but it's hard. I... I miss him." Tears clouded her eyes. "I miss you,"

That seemed to break something in him because he held her cheeks now, his words coming out rapidly. "I can stay. I— I didn't do anything, right? And Marcos— You can forgive him, can't you? It's just a matter of time—"

"He needs to learn how to be without me,"

"Breaking up with him is different," He said, his voice pleading now. "Breaking up with me as well. We don't have to do anything. I can just keep you company, and stay for a while—"

"What are you doing after school?" She asked, her head now resting on his hand. "After he sends you away?"

He froze. How did she—?

"If I don't come to school, you can be Valedictorian, can't you?" She continued. "If you got a scholarship, you can take care of Eleanor too. I tried getting Sebastian to change his mind about it, but he said you needed the challenge, but that's fine. I know you can do anything. You can do anything."

"I—" The words were spiraling out of control in his head. "Valedictorian? But— But you—"

A grim expression appeared on her face now. "You need it more than I do."

"Alex," He felt his heart beat frantically now. Once upon a time, this was what he wanted. What he deserved. Or thought that he did.

He shook his head now, holding her closer. "You've fought so hard for it. You— You needed it. Marcos said—"

She shook her head. "I didn't. It was for her, but she's gone now. I think— I think a part of me just wanted her to appreciate me. If I got that, if I took care of her, maybe she'd finally love me,"

Then Alex smiled. "But that isn't happening, is it?"

"Alex,—"

"If I stay in your life, you'd spend your time trying to help me, I don't want that. You have so much to do. To live for. For her. For yourself."

"Think of yourself for fuck's sake!" He heard himself suddenly snap.

She didn't budge. "I am. That's why I do this. You boys are me, Paris. I would do anything, anything, to see you become the best. Even though I'm no longer in the picture."

Paris chest hurt. It was a new feeling. One he hadn't felt before. The type that made it hard to breathe. That trying had you gasping.

He watched her eyes move to the ring on her finger, a gentle look coming to her face as she whispered, "This wasn't how it was supposed to go,"

His eyes were getting blurry but he blinked them furiously back still, some traitorous one fell.

She looked at him now, reaching out to wipe them away before resting her forehead on his. "You're strong, Paris. Keep being that way, for me. And him. Please,"

"I don't want to beg you to send me away," He heard himself say. "I'm sure Marcos already did that, and if you didn't listen to him, mine would be useless. He's cuter than me anyway,"

She let out a chuckle before licking her lips. "Take care of him for me, will you? You're— You're the only one that knows him like I do. He's bound to try hurting himself. Don't let him."

"And you?"

Alex closed her eyes, taking in a small breath before exhaling and staring at him now. "I'd figure myself out. Promise."

~

This was trash, I know, but I made myself have to write once a week, you know, can't let it pass without giving you guys something. I'm a nice person, you know?

I totally expected Paris to smash something and scream, and beg.

Tch. He disappointed me.