The Fight for (Self-) Love and Dominance

Chapter X

:D

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When I woke up I was surrounded by white and I was alone. I tried to turn my head but someone was holding it down.

"Amelia I'd rather you not move, there was a lot of internal memory damage done to your cerebral cortex. Moving when my mind is linked thoroughly in your central nervous system would be fatal, for you." An older woman, probably older than Pearl, with blinded eyes spoke above me blowing her warm breath over my face. "Your brain is trying to take refuge in a comatose state to repress and cut off certain memories."

What do you mean? I thought to her, exhaustion washing over me as my eyes drifted shut.

"It is imperative that you remain awake for this process my dear, I understand you are tired but please. As for the memory bit, well it would appear that they have been locked up in a box and stored with the intention of never being opened again. What is the last thing you remember before blacking out?" She interrogated, a sharp pain emanating from my temples.

The last thing was Stephan and I arguing about the trials, he had mentioned the deaths of my family.

"Hmmm, what happened after that."

I was... we were with Claire in the treehouse... oh god.

"Amelia stay with me, remember you are here now, not then. You have already experienced her death."

It was my fault, I killed her, so much pain behind her stare. Then mommy and daddy... now I'm all alone! Someone help me!!

"Amelia!" The woman demanded, by now my body was thrashing but I couldn't stop it. It was like I wasn't in my body but locked away with Aileen, cowering in the corner like a little girl. "Focus, focus on memories of Stephan."

They're all dead because of me... I couldn't stop them, everyone's scared of me. But I need to take responsibility, it's what daddy would have wanted.

Flashes of my bloodied parents and Claire's cold dead body sagging in my arms kept circling my vision. What the hell is going on, why can't I move or do anything, this isn't me right now, what is this.

I'm glad you've noticed; this is a precautionary defense.

Is this actually happening?

Yes, and no. This is what happened several hours ago before the council tried to attack, they didn't succeed thankfully to Marshal's barrier, but it won't hold for long.

If they just want me then why is everyone fighting so hard for me? They love me? They respect me? No, you and I both know that they fear me above anything else. Before you say I'm not in my right mind, thing is I am. I'm not afraid, I'm not scared, I'm not angry, I'm confused. This whole trip has been one event after the other. Why? Why couldn't it just be as simple as failing the trials and being able to live with my life.

The trials aren't over Mia. We are in a trial; this situation isn't real.

You think I don't know that? There no other explanation for you and I being blocked in my mind while six-year-old me fights off the memories of Claire. I just wanted some answers.

I know, we have been through this before Mia, you have to remember. I wish I could bluntly tell you.

So I need to remember.... What exactly? My past has apparently been sheltered away in locked parts of my brain I won't be able to see it.

Look around. We are in the trials, in here you can do and be anything. Nothing is out of our reach.

I turned my head only to see a small room with my pulsating body and Stephan holding my legs down with the older woman sweating with scratches along her face from my nails digging into her face. The room was shaking, bits of concrete were falling from the ceiling as Mabel and Éire pushed the door open and tying ropes around the table and my body. I could feel the warmth of Stephan's hand but it wasn't me he was holding, at least not in this state.