Chapter ten

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Utopia, an imagined place or state of things in which everything is perfect.

I found myself in my own utopia, right now. A place where you were surrounded by beautiful oceans, and sun rise lasted all day. All fears were erased, and the feeling of happiness was the only one that existed. It was like being tipsy, only all day long, fused with happiness. Smiles could be seen all around, and laughter could be heard miles ahead.

Warmth, the yearning for warmth was finally fulfilled. I'm not talking about the weather, but rather the warmth of a mother's touch, the warmth behind a loving fathers voice.
In my utopia, you could only ever express the feeling of love, and all acts of heinousness were banned.

If only I could forever life in my utopia, I would. And maybe one day, I could.
But for now, as I watched the sun rise get replaced with a dark moon, and the still oceans rise into deadly waves I realized it was time to say goodbye to this state of what used to be perfection.

The state I longed for so strongly, I chose to trap myself between fire.

"Doctor Green, can you hear us?"

My eyes flutter open, and the immense light makes me shut them back hard again. I tried to speak and say that I was not a doctor, at least not yet and I'll probably never be one but, no words were coming out.
"Slowly try to adjust your eyes to the light" Funny, usually I'm the one saying that sentence, and not the one hearing it.

I blink a couple of times, adjusting to the white light coming from all directions.
My eyes met a pair of blue ones, old blue wrinkly eyes and grey hair that almost matched the white coat.
"How long have I been here?" I asked, my memory was hazy at best. The last thing I remember is fire, fire everywhere and the feeling of heat.

"You've been here for a whole week young lady, it's a miracle you made it" I adjusted myself and tried to sit up but the little of energy I had, seemed to not be enough yet.
"Now now, be careful, my life is depending on you coming out without a scratch" The doctor, which I gathered was called Dr. Johnson by the one glance on his name tag, said.

Did the smoke I inhaled cause me to hallucinate, or did he just say that his life is depending on mine?
I mean, each doctor to their own, but I wouldn't really advice having such a strong bond to the patients, who was I to judge though.

Confusion filled the air as I tried to browse around in my blurry memory
"How did I get here?" Before the doctor could reply, my eyes widened.
"Barszik!" I said, a strong wave of panic hitting me, "Is Barszik okay?" My eyes started tearing at the thought of Barszik not making it.

"Barszik?" Dr. Johnson said, a question mark written all over his face.
"My cat!" I exclaimed, his face relaxed as if it wasn't as serious anymore, considering it was just a cat, it annoyed me because the thought of someone thinking a pet's life was less vulnerable didn't sit right.
"He's fine, don't worry dr. Green" I turned around, and met the smile of a young nurse I hadn't noticed before now. She was young, no more than twenty-three, her platinum blonde hair was put in a ponytail, and the light shined at her dark blue eyes making them lighter. Her smile was warm, and she radiated good energy.

"Can I see him?" I asked, giving her a half smile back.
"Of course! But we have to run some test on you first to make sure everything is okay, we-" Before she could continue, she was cut off by the doctor, he was giving her a nasty glare as if she just stole his favorite toy.
"That's enough nurse Rachel, I'll take it from here"
Nothing annoyed me more than when the doctors played superior than the nurses, they both had an important role at the hospital, and no one should use their title to power trip the other.

"If you don't mind Dr. Johnson, I'd like to hear what nurse Rachel has to say" I said, sternly.

I would consider myself to be a nice person, the sentence you're way too nice is something I've been told before, which isn't a lie, most of the time I couldn't control the voice in my head telling me to help, to always see the best in people and to sacrifice. I love helping, I love the feeling of being needed, I love showing people the good parts of life. And after my mistake at the hospital, I would do anything to make up for it.

With all that being said, I don't love injustice, I don't love unkindness and I don't love bad intentions. I wasn't going to stand for it either.

"Dr. Johnson, I'm very tired and really don't have the energy to discuss right now" I cut off, and usually this would be the part where he showed off his title and told me how this is his hospital, but instead he swallowed and nervously nodded his head in agreement, as if he feared making me mad.

Nurse Rachel smiled, when she got the look of approval and finish the sentence she started.
"We're just going to run some tests to make sure everything is okay, you inhaled a lot of smoke, if you would've been there only a few seconds longer things would be really different now"
I nodded, as memories started running through my head.

"But Barszik is safe? He didn't get hurt?" I asked, just as the sentence left my lips the memory unraveled in my head, I remembered how I grabbed Barszik from under the bed and I let him go, making sure he was outside of the apartment safely before locking the door again.
"He is, the firemen found him cuddled next you outside, it was a miracle dr. green. We all admire the way you fought, and got out before it was too late"

My brows knitted together, confusion written all over my face. I didn't leave the apartment, I couldn't have. My head started hurting, sending signals that it was enough thinking for the day.
"You can call me Luna, I'm not a doctor" I said, not wanting to have that reminder for each sentence.

"Oh, I though-" Before she could finish, dr. Johnson cut her off yet again.
"I think that's enough for today, we need to let the young lady rest" He smiled, a fake smile.

Nurse Rachel nodded her head, and left only seconds later leaving me alone with the doctor.
He looked at me nervously, as If he had to think before speaking, because the wrong word could lead to strong consequences. It was weird seeing someone in his position be so nervous around.. little me. Little harmless me. Was I being rude earlier when I stood up for the nurse?

Only when I wanted to reach for the waterbottle next to me, I noticed my right hand wrapped in white. Bandage. It must've been from the doorknob, another scar added to the list. Thats all I could think.

"We're going to do our best to make sure everything goes well, if there's absolutely anything you need you can contact me personally" Dr. Johnson said, making his way out.

He stopped by the door, and started scratching the back of his head, debating if he should say what was on his mind or not.

"We've notified your husband about you being awake, he's made it clear that you'll get everything you want, and we'll make sure to do our best"

Hundreds of question marks flew around my head. Before I had to chance to ask him what he meant, he left the room, leaving me alone with confusion and a pit in my stomach. Husband? He must've confused me with another patient, there's no other answer.

At least that's what I innocently thought, unaware of the gun that had been pointed at him through the whole surgery, to make sure I made it out alive.

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