Finding Him

C H A P T E R - T W E N T Y

"What?" I laugh, nervous. "That's crazy." Right?

"I'm sorry, Ells." Devin finally spits something out. "I didn't want to say anything because I don't want to ruin anything between you too. Y'know? Just I feel like I'd be a bad friend of I didn't."

"What exactly did you hear?"

"Not necessarily what we've heard but he's on his phone a lot late at night, talking to someone. It wakes us up every night." My heart starts to race, my chest tightening. Naomi looks to me sorrowfully.

"I tried asking him about it once." Devin chimes in. "He just said it was no one but I heard it. It was a girl's voice."

"Do you know for sure?" I ask. "That it's something romantic?" My mind is telling me to ask but my heart doesn't want to know the answer.

"Well, not really but—"

"Then it doesn't matter." I swallow back my worry. They say ignorance is bliss and I trust that I do not need anything else on my plate right now. "I trust Rowan, he wouldn't do that."

"So you're not going to ask him about it?" Devin asks.

"No. I don't care."

Naomi lifts a brow. "This doesn't sound like the Ellie I know." I brush off her comment and blue my eyes stick back to the movie.

I try to push away the deepening feeling in my gut but I don't want to start another fight with him. I don't want to lose him.

Especially when I know I'm going to lose everyone else when they find out what I've done.

• • •

"What are you doing in bed?" Papà asks as he enters my room.

"Hiding." I tell him. I feel Flower jump on my bed.

Papà doesn't like to admit it but him and Flower spend almost the whole day together. She was my gift but she likes him better. Very unfair of you ask me.

"From?"

The bed dips as papà sits down, his hand scratches the back of my head gently. I hum a thank you.

"Everything. Everyone. The world."

"Sounds like a legitimate reason." He adds and I nod halfheartedly with a smile.

"I know."

We sit in a comfortable silence, I almost fall asleep with the pressure papà puts on my head, relieving  me of all my stress. Just as my mind starts to drift, papà's voice takes me out of the black hole.

"Is there anything I can do to make you feel a little bit better?" I shrug, letting my head fall into his lap. "Why don't we go out?" He suggests, my ears perk up. "Just the two of us."

"Really?" I can't help the smirk creeping up on my face. The excitement in my voice is evident.

"Yes. Let's do something fun."

"Do I get to pick?"

"Am I going to regret this?"

I bite back my smile. "Yes."

• • •

We're halfway deep into the movie when Regina George is run over by a bus.