Tumblr Chats!

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So here's the tumblr chats that I promised you guys! 

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how to prepare for exams: cry 

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In real life

when you meet someone a few years older than you:oh my god, you're so OLD i can't talk to you i'll embarrass myself oh dfhsfg

when you meet someone a few years younger than you:ew, no, get away from me, I'll break your brain with my knowledge.

online

when you meet someone a few years older than you:I DON'T EVEN CARE, LOOK WE LIKE THE SAME STUFF, YOU'RE SO AWESOME, I LOVE YOU, I'M GONNA TALK TO YOU ALL THE TIME.

when you meet someone a few years younger than you:d'awwwwww omg *squish squish* ilu you're so cute, here, read some porn.

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math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie

history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs

literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"

physics tests: the aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.

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When someone walks slower than me: omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma

When someone walks faster than me: jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt

When someone walks at the same pace as me: who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the f*ck away before I call the cops

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doctor:so what kind of birth control are you using?

me:my appearance

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Scientist:On average teenagers go on the internet 16 hours a week

Me:You mean per day

Scientist:What

Me:What 

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me:shaves legs

me:sits there for 20 minutes stroking smooth legs

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whenever i try and learn something new

me:It seems that I am not immediately excellent at this

me:

me:

me:

me:

me:it is because I am a failure

me:everything I touch dies

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me: why am i so fat

me: eats 17 pizzas

me: eats 42 buckets of icecream

me: eats entire family

 me: why

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How to break up with someone: Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now.

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guy:you're cute

me:it's not april fools day yet

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Me:I like this character

Character:*dies* 

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Teacher:Why are you late?

Student:I'm late?

Teacher:You just missed an entire period..

Student:Are you telling me I'm pregnant?

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friend: there's nothing worse than death

me: final seasons

me: post-concert depression

me: when there's no food

me: fictional characters dying

me: hipsters blogs

me: your crush asks someone else out

me: no wi-fi

me: crocs

me: auto play on blogs

friend:

me: when porn appears on your dash while someone is behind you

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