So here's the tumblr chats that I promised you guys!
how to prepare for exams: cry
In real life
when you meet someone a few years older than you:oh my god, you're so OLD i can't talk to you i'll embarrass myself oh dfhsfg
when you meet someone a few years younger than you:ew, no, get away from me, I'll break your brain with my knowledge.
when you meet someone a few years older than you:I DON'T EVEN CARE, LOOK WE LIKE THE SAME STUFF, YOU'RE SO AWESOME, I LOVE YOU, I'M GONNA TALK TO YOU ALL THE TIME.
when you meet someone a few years younger than you:d'awwwwww omg *squish squish* ilu you're so cute, here, read some porn.
math test: a farmer plants 7 crops of tomatoes and 3 crops of carrots what is the probablity his moms name is leslie
history test: the american civil war ended in 1865, explain how this had a defining role in the extinction of dinosaurs
literature test: explain what the author meant by, "the apple was as red as an apple"
physics tests: the aliens ate 3.4 doughnuts. their crumbs fell to the Earth because of gravity. calculate how many penguins are eating pancakes at the speed of light.
When someone walks slower than me: omfg your slow ass is clogging up the hallway for the rest of us put some pep in your step grandma
When someone walks faster than me: jesus christ are you on the run from the police this isn't a race you can tone it down usain bolt
When someone walks at the same pace as me: who gave your creepy ass permission to walk with me get the f*ck away before I call the cops
doctor:so what kind of birth control are you using?
Scientist:On average teenagers go on the internet 16 hours a week
Me:You mean per day
me:sits there for 20 minutes stroking smooth legs
whenever i try and learn something new
me:It seems that I am not immediately excellent at this
me:it is because I am a failure
me:everything I touch dies
me: why am i so fat
me: eats 17 pizzas
me: eats 42 buckets of icecream
me: eats entire family
How to break up with someone: Give them a sock and tell them they are a free elf now.
me:it's not april fools day yet
Me:I like this character
Teacher:Why are you late?
Teacher:You just missed an entire period..
Student:Are you telling me I'm pregnant?
friend: there's nothing worse than death
me: final seasons
me: post-concert depression
me: when there's no food
me: fictional characters dying
me: hipsters blogs
me: your crush asks someone else out
me: no wi-fi
me: auto play on blogs
me: when porn appears on your dash while someone is behind you
YOU ARE READING
Awesome Quotes, Comebacks, and Insults!Random
Love quotes? You have come to the right place my friend. Like a lot of readers/nerds/internet addicts I am in love with some of the quotes I find from places like TV shows, books, bands, inspirational famous people, and the like. You'll find some...