warning: little gory at the end. includes self inflicting pain.
2 weeks later
2 fucking weeks and no update on my daughter.
all i know is that a whole hell of a lot of people died and that war is raging right now.
usually if there was an issue sam would call to check in...she didn't check in! why won't she check in?
because she's dead.
no! she's not! stop it brain! my daughter isn't dead!
why else won't she check in? why haven't you heard?
because she's probably busy saving our country!
no. she's gone. admit it.
"SHE'S NOT GONE!" i screamed and threw a vase against the wall.
"TAYLOR!" ezra ran in and tried to calm me down, "babe relax. sam is okay. she will be okay-"
"YOU DON'T KNOW THAT! SAM CAN BE MURDERED OUT THERE! I HAVE NO IDEA HOW SHE IS DOING!" i screamed and kicked a shelf, making it collapse.
i turned around and saw my 7 year old daughter standing in the door way, little 2 year jeremy next to her.
"not now amanda please." i said and rubbed my temples.
"is sam okay?" she asked.
hearing her say her name made me slide down the wall and cry into my hands.
ezra went over to the kids, "guys. go downstairs and watch tv okay? mommy just needs to rest. alright? she loves you."
they nodded and ezra kissed them and they ran away.
ezra came closer to me.
i closed my eyes as the tears burnt my eyelids.
"i hate the pain i'm feeling. not knowing if she's okay or not. it's killing me ezra. it hurts."
"i know it does. i know babe. but sam is strong. we don't know that she isn't okay."
"we don't know that she is either." i said blankly.
"alright but you got to keep your head high. the kids need you tay. i need you." ezra said pleadingly.
i tightened my eyes more and nodded.
"okay." i whispered.
"okay?" he asked.
i opened my eyes and met his dark blue.
i nodded, "okay." i repeated.
he smiled smally and held his hand out.
i took it and he helped me stand up on my feet that i didn't trust at the moment fore i am scared that if i take a step i will collapse again.
"i got you." he whispered.
i smiled weakly and he kissed my lips gently and helped me walk downstairs.
i saw amanda holding jeremy in her arms on the couch, watching spongebob.
i smiled, "hey guys. can i join?" i asked.
they smiled and nodded, "sure mama. right here!" mandi patted next to them and i smiled at ezra.
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