sometimes we own the moment, sometimes we face all sorts of challenges.
i guess this moment right now is one of those challenges. one question that i have been wondering for a very long time: why was i even born? why would a creature who brings pain and hassle to the ones i love be born? of course god made nobody perfect, of course His children arent impeccable, but i certainly do not belong in this world. i am an alien, i am abnormal. i also told myself one day: why dont you change... for the better? if you continue like this, it wont be healthy for you and may even hurt you. well, i had thought about it... and the answer (surprisingly) is fairly simple: its hard. its difficult to make a change that will fully benefit you. its easy to be bad, but its hard to be good. moreover, i simply do not have the time, due to exams. that is why i have decided not to change, because we are not perfect, humans do not always win. i have accepted that i can be a very good person as well as a very bad person. i will accept the fact that i may be inhumane. i will accept the fact that i may have some sort of disease. i will accept the fact that i may be crazy and need help. i will accept the fact that i am very imperfect.
message: the saying "perfect your imperfections" is a statement of discouragement. instead of accepting your true self, it is asking of you to be almost as perfect as Christ. as long as youre not cold-hearted, you are a true and honest soul.
4.8.22 - 22.19
