- I can't believe Minho is gone, I hope it's not because of me. - Chris wanted to stop him right there and tell Hyunjin he was wrong, but Jin needed to open up about what he was dealing with and this was the first time he felt comfortable doing it with Chris - Before, when dad was alive, I used to be able to take anything, the screaming, the fighting and whatever life threw at me. Now, every single time I feel some sort of agression I freeze. I paralyze and try to disappear but at the same time solve the problem. I get so scared that I feel my heart isn't beating anymore. I breathe in and out like my therapist told me to, but it doesn't change anything, my chest is still. Every minor problem makes me go into shock. Every minor thing that happens, and things happen all the time because that's life, and I feel like the world is ending. After that, I feel so tired that I can't do a damn thing. I can barely breathe. I feel so bad for being lazy and not doing anything but I just can't. I can't. - Hyunjin sighed heavily, he tried not to cry because it bothered him he couldn't stop crying when talking about this stuff. He looked up to his brother, Jin was laying his head on his lap and Chris was touching his hair, trying to braid it.
- You aren't lazy Jinnie, it's just that a person can only endure so much. And right now, you are using every single bit of energy you have to just be alive and I think that's exactly what you have to do, focus on feeling better, not on doing more. - Chris wasn't just saying that to his brother, but also to himself. He had to face the fact that Minho was gone. He left and if he came back, it would take a long time. He had to pick up the remains of his life and try to move forward. He had everything to do it, he wasn't alone. Still, he would like his other brother with him along the way. But maybe it just wasn't meant to be.
For now, he was going back to his apartment, back to classes and work. He was very lucky his dad could stop him getting fired for not going. He wouldn't take advantage of that again. He needed to start doing stuff again and try to live without Minho. He missed him so fucking much, but he was also incredibly angry with him. So maybe time and space between them would be a good thing. Even though he had a lot to cry for, he also had a lot to be happy about. Jeongin was everything he needed and more. Looking back he couldn't believe how he treated him and how scared he was. Chris couldn't imagine his life without Innie. Specially now, that he was going to ask him to move in with him.
Minho wasn't going to come back, so he wanted to have a bigger bed for both him and his boyfriend and the other room use it as a studio. He wanted to make that place his own. And he could, because he was an owner just like Min, he had insisted they both owned the apartment. Now, that meant he could live his life there with Jeongin, if he ever said yes.
Hyunjin left Chris's apartment to go home, he had some choreographies to learn and an exam coming up. Yeji was home, so thankfully they could dance together, something they always loved doing.
Chris waited while walking around his house for Jeongin, he had cooked something for him for the first time. He wasn't very good at cooking but he wasn't terrible. It was edible, he was sure.
It hasn't been long since him and Innie got back together, but he knew they were never going to be apart again. His mother was right, when you know, you know. And there was no time to waste. He wanted to live beautiful things along side Jeongin, he wanted to wake up next to him and have breakfast and go to university together. He wanted to live his life next to him. Chris wanted everything with Jeongin. And he wasn't scared. He was excited, he couldn't wait to ask him to move in. He couldn't wait to hear him say yes. He was sure nothing would make him happier.
He bought flowers for his bedroom and the living room, white roses, Jeongin's favorite. He made sure the entire place looked good before going to open the door for his boyfriend. He was nervous, but happy.
The moment Jeongin got there he smiled, Chris told him he had a surprise for him but nothing else and seeing all the flowers everywhere and the dinner ready made him happy. After the week they've been through they needed this. A moment to themselves.
- After weeks of me saying how much I love white roses you filled the apartment with them? It's almost too easy... - Jeongin said laughing and making Chris smile - I love this so much baby... It's almost like a fairytale. - he grew up loving fairytales and fantasy stories, he grew up loving the idea of love and then fearing it. He turned to look at Chris and he realized he was living his dream, but it was so much more than that too. He hugged him tightly around the waist. Then, he looked up at his eyes. - I love you, you know that right?
- I love you too. - Chris said and kissed him deeply and slowly. - But I have more to show you.
Jeongin sat down at the table waiting for Chris to take the meal out of the oven. He made one of his favorite foods, pasta with white sauce gratin in the oven. He almost never ate that because he didn't know how to make it, so when seeing it, he got extremely happy and hopped in his seat. Before sitting, Chris served both Jeongin and himself and then put away the plate. The lights were low and the candles shined brightly on the table. Jeongin wasn't used to romance, no one ever did things like this for him before. So when he was sitting there, looking into Chris's eyes, who looked at him with such love, a tear fell. And he smiled. But before he could tell him how greatful he felt, Chris started talking.
- I... God I didn't think I would be this nervous to ask you this. - Chris laughed, but Jeongin frozed.
- You are not going to ask me to marry you right? - Innie said scared, because of course he wanted to marry him, but they had like, no money to do it and this was probably not the best time for it either. Chris laughed and said no, which made Jeongin a little sad, but he didn't know why.
- I wanted to ask you to move in with me, I know is a little too soon, but I know for sure I wouldn't want to be with anyone else but you. After everything that we've been through, I know we can go through anything and come out on top if we are together. I love you Innie, and I want to share my life with you. - Chris said everything that was in his heart, he wanted Jeongin to know how much he appreciated him.
Jeongin screamed out of excitement and said yes almost a million times before jumping Chris and kissing him with passion. They were happy with each other despite every bad thing that had happened to them. They knew that together, in their love, they could find comfort.
Even though Jeongin's parents weren't happy about it, they knew there was nothing they could do, specially since Changbin was on their side too. So the helped with the moving and bought a few things for their son's new home. Chris's parents were over the moon knowing their son was settling in with a boy as charming as Jeongin. They knew their love was forever because they looked the same way when they were younger and moving in together for the first time.
After their first night living together with everything moved in the right place Chris knew this was the boy he would spend the rest of his life with, he only had to wait for the right time to ask the question. Probably after their graduation, somewhere in the next year. But if he was being honest, he was already feeling like a married man and he couldn't be happier.
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Up To Scratch
Fanfiction- Jeongin, you should think it through. - What's there to think? Im really tired of guys my age, they aren't really interesting and the moment they see Changbin, they run away. It's no fun rebelling like that. Deep in thought, he was trying to come...
